The Words by A. Jade

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So I have to tell you. Tell me the other day,

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because Dave rubs my feet,

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and so he's rubbing my feet, and I had told you

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about praise and that clip of

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praise that really. That got me kind of going. So as he's

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rubbing my feet, he's like, sitting on the ottoman and I'm sitting on the couch,

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and he takes my other foot and puts it on his

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dick because he had listened to that episode.

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Oh, my God. I know. I thought it was so

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funny. Wow. I know. Wait, so maybe he does want to try some

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of this stuff. Oh, my God. I love

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that for you. I know. I literally. I've never been so

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excited for somebody in my whole life. Wow.

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It was super funny. He did get laid. Because you're

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taking an interest in what I do. Oh, my God. That's so sweet. I'm gonna

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reward you. Absolutely. Yes. Pavlov's dog bad.

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That's a good story. Wasn't that good? Yeah.

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The only thing that I can think of is really

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just. I was re listening to a couple of other episodes,

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and I think it must have been the tis the

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season for revenge where I noticed that when you are displeased,

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you make a noise. What you do

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now that. Now that I'm telling you this, you're gonna go back and listen to

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it and you're gonna hear it. You go.

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It's like, oh, my God. Very Marge Simpson

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esque. Oh, my God.

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And it's so funny. And you really did not

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like Richard. We didn't even have to talk about it.

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I could just hear you in the. Background the whole time going, oh, my God.

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Great. So that's cute. That's awesome. I was thinking,

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though, when I was going through and re listening to everything that I do

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make weird noises that.

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It started with the clip that you guys chose when you were telling me about

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how Chad or what's his name?

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What's. What is his name? Which clip?

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What? Dave's friend. What's his name? Cody.

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Cody. Oh, good girl. I was close when he said good girl. And then

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in the clip, I say sir for about 15

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whole seconds. Oh, my God.

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And I was like, oh, wow, that's really annoying. I love

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it, though. And that is one of my favorite, like, little interactions that we've ever

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had. Oh, really? Yeah, I love it. Oh,

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okay. Well, I was re listening to the rest of the episodes, and I realized

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that I do that a lot. I. I love it. I hate it.

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I hate it. I hate listening to myself. I know.

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Take my voice out and Just listen to you. I feel the same

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way, though, about my voice. I hate hearing my little chuckles.

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See? And I love the chuckles. Yeah. I know.

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We. The thing that. That maybe that's why we love each other. Because all

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of the things that you don't like about yourself, I love. And all the things

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that I don't like about myself you love. Exactly. It's a match made in heaven.

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It is perfect. Wow. Our last episode is

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my favorite. It is so fun. It's so funny.

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I was actually laughing listening to it. I think that we should do

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more books like that. Yes. Lights out is kind of comical.

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I'm so excited for you to read Lights Out. I am

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so excited to read. Yeah. I'm so excited to read Lights Out.

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Yeah. I have noticed that Haunting Adeline is getting a lot of

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traction. It makes sense because that's another super popular

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book. Yeah. And Lights out is. I. Most people say

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that that was their favorite book of the year.

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Really? Okay. The people I follow.

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Sure. Our demographic. Sure, sure.

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Fair enough. So I can't wait for that one. And then we have the

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Butcher and Blackbird and. Yeah. We just have so many good ones coming up.

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I feel like this last month was really fluffy. Yes. And I do want to

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do another dark one. What if we found a dark Mafia?

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I know. So I've been saving Mafia. Oh,

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Specifically. Okay. Yep.

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Hooked is kind of Mafia. You have been asking

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me to read that one for a while. I do think. Because that's another one

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that's so highly recommended. Okay. That's the one that Pagel introduced

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me to. Because it just starts out. It starts out with sex.

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Really? So I'm gonna like that one. I think you will.

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Okay. When I first read it, it was a little too dark for me,

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I think, because I'm like going from reading Nora Roberts and

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Sarah J. Mack to reading. Sure. Emily McIntyre.

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Look at how far you've come. I know. It's only been two months.

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I know. I think now I'll really like it. Okay. Yeah. And that

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one is highly recommended, but. Okay. Is that the only. Is that the only story?

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Other stories. A lot of other stories. You said you had some. Oh, you've been

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keeping track of them. This is feeling reminiscent of

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Tangled and Tinsel when she is fumbling around

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trying to get her phone out of her pocket. Yeah. Because it's on her notes.

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It is in my notes app. Yep.

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So one of them. That. We'll have to

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ask Carmen if she's fine with me telling this. Sure. But because she's been

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on her quest to find hear me outs. Yeah. She sent us another one that

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was loves to contribute. Yeah. And so she was

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talking to me and she was like, I. I found one. She's like,

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I'm pretty sure it is one. And I was like, okay, tell me.

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Like, I'm on the edge of my seat. Can't wait. I'm so excited. And she

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like clams up and doesn't want to tell me. And I was like, come on.

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I mean, you've seen mine. Yeah. I'm not going to judge you.

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Yeah. So she finally tells me that there was.

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Well, there was a, like a month where I was sick. There was a specific

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episode where my voice is kind of raspy.

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Yeah. And my sick voice is

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Carmen's. Hear me out.

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And I'm overjoyed. I feel like I've made it.

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The thing is, is that is an actual hear me out.

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Yes, 100%. Not my regular

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voice. Not even you? No, no. Just your voice.

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Just my sick voice. Yeah. So great. I love that.

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And then she was super excited to tell both of us and she like found

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a clip of somebody with a sexy sick voice.

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Yeah, she did. I love that. So we're gonna have

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to save the rest of your stories because this is a two parter. Yeah.

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This book is long. This is a very 740

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some pages or something. Yeah. We are doing this in a two parter

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just because we wanna have time to.

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The best part is telling our stories. Yeah. Well,

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and Nicole is like obsessed with this book. So I. I do love this book.

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I think it's the characters. I just really like this male main

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character. Interesting. I know.

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But you know who like my first love ever was? I do.

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And it's very much giving. Tristan.

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Sure. I have thoughts.

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I can't wait. Oh,

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no. All right, well, I'm Amanda. I'm Nicole. And we are book

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sluts. We read, recap, and review smutty

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books. Let us help you decide if you should keep this

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book on your tbr. What book are we reading today?

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We are reading the words by Ashley. Jade or it's a Jade.

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A Jade. This author was

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hard to track down. She doesn't have a website. She has an old

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Facebook page that's not even active anymore. Oh, old is book.

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I can't look since I'm blocked on Kindle right now. Oh.

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Oh. End of my life. Oh, my God. I know.

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I. I have to hang out with my husband this weekend. I'm gonna be honest,

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those text messages were the most desperate ones You've ever sent.

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For sure. I've been on

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my Kindle for 50 days straight. Yeah. What am I gonna do? I read

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on the weekends. Yeah. I need to do my lights out notes.

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Shoot. My Kindle has a holder. Yeah.

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Oh, here you. Such an inconvenience. Aaliyah.

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Oh, my God. Thanks. Stuff your Kindle day.

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Well, I really, really wanted to do you the courtesy of

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loving this book. You enjoyed it the first

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read. I enjoyed it the first read. It's one though,

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like. Whereas Fantasma, we couldn't stop thinking about how great it actually

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was. This is when I feel like you thought about and you were like,

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I really didn't like that. Yeah. Yeah, that is exactly what it was.

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The thing is, is the sex scenes are good. Yes.

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They are very good, if not pretty vanilla.

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But I love them. If I'm being very honest with you,

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I don't want you to feel like you are a very transparent person because you

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are normally an enigma. Yeah. But I feel very vindicated

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in you saying that this reminds you of Tristan because

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that the. All of this were those vibes for me. And I could see

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you reading yourself into this book. Yes, for sure. Oh, a hundred

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percent. I think that is my thing. And I was looking for a very specific

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book when I found this one. And I found it on, like,

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a subreddit. Sure. It's not recommended a lot.

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Well, do you see why? Well, I don't,

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because I do think that there are other books that we have read or that

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I've read that are way worse than this book. This. This book does

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not. It does not make sense to me why it does not recommend bagging

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the blue liner. I would read this book a million times over before I'd read

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bagging the blue liner again. So. But it is very long,

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and I. Did say that to start with, that it could have been two.

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They could have cut it off 200 pages early. Yes. Yep. They could have cut

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it off to. They honestly could have probably made it into two or three books.

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Yeah, exactly. Yeah. But overall,

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we'll get there. All right. The content

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warnings on this book are alcoholism, bullying,

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child abuse, fat shaming, and parental abandonment.

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I had to do my notes differently for this book than I normally do

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because I started off as detailed as I normally am, and it

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was so draining and exhausting that I just started making bullet

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points. So I'm going to be kind of going through the general details

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of the book, and I'm going to rely on Nicole for the nuances.

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Yep. We open with Phoenix,

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four years prior to our story starting

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and we learn that Phoenix is very poor and

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he lives in a trailer with his father who is incredibly

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abusive and an alcoholic. And when we say

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like abusive, Phoenix talks about being forced to stand

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in freezing cold showers, having cigarettes put out

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on him, beaten with a bed at lots of like

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horror, horrific abuse. So prior to this, his mother

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was sort of the subject of the abuse. Do you

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want to give the physical description? Sure. He is tall.

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He has dark blonde hair.

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So dark blonde. Dark blonde hair. Clarification. Blue eyes.

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He has a lip ring. I think his hair is kind of a little bit

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longer. And he doesn't get the lip ring.

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Until later. Yeah, until later. But he's not

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like a big buff guy. No, he's long and lean.

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Yeah. At this point in the book,

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Phoenix has a secret which seems

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like it's written like it's the

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end of the world, but we get to it pretty

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quickly. So four years later, we are sitting

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with Lennon at breakfast. Lennon is our main

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female character. And we, I think, are immediately struck

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by the very contrasting home lives between these two. And I

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think the author did that on purpose. Lennon's father is

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a renowned songwriter. They live very comfortably,

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just the two of them. Lennon's father is

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absent minded, but kindly. Her mother was a singer

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who died when she was a baby. I think she died at childbirth.

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Yeah, yeah. She like didn't know her. Yeah.

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Despite their strikingly different home lives, one thing that they

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both seem to have in common is that in a lot of ways

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they are both kind of adults in their homes.

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Lennon is kind of. Her dad is absent minded, so she's kind of always

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caring for him and making sure that he keeps track of his

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schedule and his things. And because Phoenix father

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is so abusive, he basically has no part in raising Phoenix. So even

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though these are two 18 year olds, they don't read like two 18 year

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olds. They read, they read in some ways.

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A lot older than that physical description of

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Lennon. So she's short, she's like five two, she has

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brown hair, she's plus size. So she. I think she describes herself as

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like a size 18 and 19. And she has brown eyes,

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very curvy girl. Curvy small girl. Yeah.

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And I think it's important to note that Lennon is

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very, very aware of her size and she is

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frequently picked on it for it. Yeah. She's straight bullied by these girls

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and girls are mean. Yes. Yeah. The abuse

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that she has to deal with from her classmate is

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honestly bullying, isn't Sufficient for describing

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it. Yeah. Sabrina is one

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of Lennon's most heinous bullies, so she's the

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most persistent she's allowed us about it. I think she finds any reason

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at all to pick on Lennon. And just to give you

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kind of an idea of Lennon's character as a person,

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it is pointed out by Phoenix that she never cries and she never

230
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backs down to speak. She always has, like, a comeback. Like,

231
00:13:55,654 --> 00:13:59,358
oh, is that the best you can do? Really? Calling me fat? How original.

232
00:13:59,454 --> 00:14:02,622
Yeah. Yeah. So I think you kind of get idea of the

233
00:14:02,646 --> 00:14:06,942
fortitude that she has as a person in her ability to

234
00:14:07,046 --> 00:14:10,074
withstand the abuse that she receives.

235
00:14:10,202 --> 00:14:13,690
She's so outwardly confident, and I do really like that about her

236
00:14:13,730 --> 00:14:17,178
because I, again, I can relate to that character being, like,

237
00:14:17,234 --> 00:14:20,426
crushed on the inside, but on the outside, you come across as

238
00:14:20,498 --> 00:14:24,282
very confident and unbothered. Yeah. So I liked that.

239
00:14:24,386 --> 00:14:28,090
Yeah. She enjoys singing. She's very

240
00:14:28,130 --> 00:14:31,242
smart. She was recently accepted to Dartmouth,

241
00:14:31,386 --> 00:14:34,570
and she has a very clear crush on

242
00:14:34,610 --> 00:14:38,282
Phoenix right away. Like, immediately, she.

243
00:14:38,466 --> 00:14:40,890
I would say that this. Crushed.

244
00:14:40,970 --> 00:14:44,154
She really almost compares Phoenix to

245
00:14:44,162 --> 00:14:48,186
a God. Yeah. On multiple occasions. She is.

246
00:14:48,338 --> 00:14:51,242
But she's not overly obvious about it.

247
00:14:51,346 --> 00:14:54,842
He can tell, though. Yeah. Phoenix thinks that she has a crush on him

248
00:14:54,866 --> 00:14:58,314
because he thinks everybody has a crush on him. Very true. Not necessarily

249
00:14:58,362 --> 00:15:01,722
because of anything that she's doing. He is just so

250
00:15:01,746 --> 00:15:05,104
arrogant that he believes that because she looks the

251
00:15:05,112 --> 00:15:08,064
way that she does, there's no chance that she doesn't have a crush on him.

252
00:15:08,152 --> 00:15:12,060
Yeah. So Nicole just shrugged because she disagrees with me.

253
00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:16,064
She doesn't think he's arrogant. Oh, I do. But I also. That's kind

254
00:15:16,072 --> 00:15:18,752
of my type. It would have been in high school.

255
00:15:18,856 --> 00:15:22,544
Sure. We have very different types. We do. My type

256
00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:26,288
growing up was quiet but,

257
00:15:26,344 --> 00:15:29,674
like, confident. Do you

258
00:15:29,682 --> 00:15:32,442
know what I'm talking. Do you know the type I'm talking about? Yes, but that

259
00:15:32,466 --> 00:15:36,842
would never. No. I liked

260
00:15:36,986 --> 00:15:41,178
loud. And the more it would piss off my parents.

261
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:45,194
My parents hate Tristan still. The more it would piss them off.

262
00:15:45,282 --> 00:15:49,002
Yeah. The more I was more likely to be interested. I actually think

263
00:15:49,026 --> 00:15:52,186
that tracks so much because Dave, I think, is very loud. Yeah.

264
00:15:52,298 --> 00:15:56,138
Like, there have been multiple times where I'm like, wow, Dave just.

265
00:15:56,194 --> 00:16:00,442
He has an opinion and he says it. Yes. There's nothing unapologetic.

266
00:16:00,506 --> 00:16:04,194
Yeah. Yes. Yeah. For sure. And I.

267
00:16:04,362 --> 00:16:08,002
I've always liked that. I think that my type has stayed the same. Yeah.

268
00:16:08,066 --> 00:16:12,002
Because I. Thinking about it now, this is specific to CIS

269
00:16:12,066 --> 00:16:15,426
hetero men. But even now, like, I think about.

270
00:16:15,498 --> 00:16:19,202
Azriel yeah, Azrael is my type and

271
00:16:19,226 --> 00:16:21,890
I was Cassian. Which tracked. Yes,

272
00:16:21,970 --> 00:16:25,602
absolutely. Or Eris. Because I have that

273
00:16:25,626 --> 00:16:28,694
weird Eris thing you do. Which 100 tracks.

274
00:16:28,802 --> 00:16:32,590
Oh, yes, absolutely. Wow. So right off the bat, I was into

275
00:16:32,630 --> 00:16:36,110
this book. I have a note here that says that this. The way that this

276
00:16:36,150 --> 00:16:39,870
is written so far, this felt very high

277
00:16:39,910 --> 00:16:43,806
school to me. And I can't tell if the author

278
00:16:43,958 --> 00:16:47,422
is doing that on purpose. Yeah. Or if this is just

279
00:16:47,446 --> 00:16:50,942
the way that she writes. And I think it does get better, like later in

280
00:16:50,966 --> 00:16:54,126
the book once she grows up. So I'm going to give the author the credit

281
00:16:54,158 --> 00:16:57,484
that she. They are in high school, wrote this. Yes,

282
00:16:57,532 --> 00:17:01,164
exactly. With like the intention of growing the characters

283
00:17:01,212 --> 00:17:04,332
up. Yes, exactly. I'm gonna give her that. But part of

284
00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:07,676
me feels like there's a really good chance that Ashley Jade started writing

285
00:17:07,708 --> 00:17:11,720
this book at 16 and didn't finish this

286
00:17:12,660 --> 00:17:16,636
masterpiece until she was in her mid-20s.

287
00:17:16,748 --> 00:17:20,012
Most of her books are set in high school. She has a full, like high

288
00:17:20,036 --> 00:17:23,833
school series. Oh, interesting. Which I can't

289
00:17:23,881 --> 00:17:27,257
get on board with. No, it's not for me. It's not. No.

290
00:17:27,313 --> 00:17:30,889
Honestly, if these two hadn't been written with their

291
00:17:30,929 --> 00:17:34,121
background and the home life that they had been. And then when we get to

292
00:17:34,145 --> 00:17:36,665
that scene, that scene would have made me really uncomfortable.

293
00:17:36,777 --> 00:17:39,849
Yeah. Even though they're both 18 at that scene. Sure.

294
00:17:39,969 --> 00:17:42,509
So. But it is, it's very wistful.

295
00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:46,937
Yeah. The way that she describes him is like, oh, he's so dreamy.

296
00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:50,137
But that is 100% how like high school girls think. I know.

297
00:17:50,193 --> 00:17:53,101
I wasn't though. I didn't think like that when I was in high school.

298
00:17:53,265 --> 00:17:56,454
Hard for me to relate to that. If you can picture like little 15 year

299
00:17:56,462 --> 00:17:59,942
old me. I. Boy crazy. Yeah, I. 100%, I can see

300
00:17:59,966 --> 00:18:02,854
that. Yeah. Most definitely. So I relate.

301
00:18:02,982 --> 00:18:06,470
Yeah. English is Lennon's best

302
00:18:06,510 --> 00:18:10,262
subject. And she is asked by her teacher to help tutor Phoenix

303
00:18:10,406 --> 00:18:13,590
or else he won't graduate. She agrees.

304
00:18:13,750 --> 00:18:17,542
But while waiting for Phoenix to show for their first

305
00:18:17,646 --> 00:18:21,354
session together, because he's late, Lennon starts

306
00:18:21,402 --> 00:18:24,666
humming, which turns into full blown singing. Now,

307
00:18:24,818 --> 00:18:28,586
Lennon has obviously got singing and music

308
00:18:28,658 --> 00:18:32,506
in her family background. Her dad is a songwriter for famous

309
00:18:32,538 --> 00:18:35,530
musicians. Her mom was a singer.

310
00:18:35,610 --> 00:18:39,482
And she has a very distinct voice that we'll learn as we

311
00:18:39,506 --> 00:18:42,874
kind of go through this book. It's very. Speaking of sultry.

312
00:18:43,002 --> 00:18:46,024
Yeah. It's how I imagine that sound when I'm sick.

313
00:18:46,162 --> 00:18:48,956
I'm singing aloud in my car. Right.

314
00:18:49,108 --> 00:18:52,844
That's kind of the way that it Gets described. Phoenix walks

315
00:18:52,892 --> 00:18:56,300
in her. And after some back and forth, Phoenix leaves the bathroom and

316
00:18:56,340 --> 00:19:00,140
goes to the band room where he starts playing the song

317
00:19:00,220 --> 00:19:04,240
that she was just singing on the piano.

318
00:19:05,060 --> 00:19:08,348
Lennon is shocked, calling it a gift.

319
00:19:08,524 --> 00:19:11,660
And he stops singing to tell her he

320
00:19:11,700 --> 00:19:14,822
doesn't want her help, but he needs it. And I have again,

321
00:19:14,846 --> 00:19:17,782
I have a note here again. The theatrics of it all. Yeah.

322
00:19:17,846 --> 00:19:21,702
Oh, God, the theatrics of it all. I would

323
00:19:21,726 --> 00:19:24,342
just like to know. About 15 years old, I was living in my car,

324
00:19:24,446 --> 00:19:27,862
so maybe I'm. Yes. You're so different.

325
00:19:27,966 --> 00:19:30,614
Because I feel like this is all very realistic.

326
00:19:30,742 --> 00:19:31,450
Yeah.

327
00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:36,930
This is why we need video. I know.

328
00:19:37,870 --> 00:19:41,542
Nicole. I'm exasperated. Both of

329
00:19:41,566 --> 00:19:45,494
her hands on the table. And then shook

330
00:19:45,542 --> 00:19:48,690
her head at me like, what are you talking about?

331
00:19:49,070 --> 00:19:51,730
I'm sorry. I'm doing my best.

332
00:19:53,230 --> 00:19:56,582
No more books that start in high school. But I do again, like you said,

333
00:19:56,606 --> 00:19:59,446
I do feel like this prologue was necessary.

334
00:19:59,638 --> 00:20:03,142
Oh, yeah. Phoenix has a band. Band being

335
00:20:03,166 --> 00:20:06,828
a very loose term because it literally consists of him and his best friend,

336
00:20:07,014 --> 00:20:10,496
who is a named Storm. I know, of course

337
00:20:10,568 --> 00:20:13,856
their name is Phoenix and Storm. With those names,

338
00:20:13,888 --> 00:20:16,780
how can you not accept them to be in a band together? Oh, for real?

339
00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:20,688
They meet and practice out of Storm's grandmother's garage.

340
00:20:20,784 --> 00:20:24,912
And there is no love lost on

341
00:20:25,016 --> 00:20:28,544
Lennon. When Storm finds out that he's

342
00:20:28,592 --> 00:20:32,464
being tutored, he tells Phoenix not to fuck his tutor

343
00:20:32,512 --> 00:20:36,744
until after he graduates. And when Phoenix says it's Lennon,

344
00:20:36,872 --> 00:20:40,248
Storm says, never mind then. And Phoenix thinks

345
00:20:40,264 --> 00:20:43,500
to himself, he never that girl. Yep.

346
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:47,208
But again, okay, I was not a super

347
00:20:47,264 --> 00:20:50,824
big girl in high school, but the way I was treated

348
00:20:50,872 --> 00:20:54,296
for being 20 pounds overweight. Yeah, you would think.

349
00:20:54,448 --> 00:20:57,912
Yeah. Like even probably now, these guys would

350
00:20:57,936 --> 00:21:00,712
look back and be like, oh, my God, she was so fat. And if you

351
00:21:00,736 --> 00:21:04,116
see a picture of me, I was not. Yeah,

352
00:21:04,228 --> 00:21:07,652
I can relate. Yeah, I was a. I was bigger in high school. I think

353
00:21:07,676 --> 00:21:11,012
I was like a size 15, 17 in junior sizes when I was

354
00:21:11,036 --> 00:21:14,628
in high school. But I also think that we grew up in the 90s

355
00:21:14,724 --> 00:21:18,356
and we grew up in the time of like grunge

356
00:21:18,468 --> 00:21:21,716
and like that super thin. Yeah,

357
00:21:21,748 --> 00:21:24,372
that heroin chic. Heroin chic,

358
00:21:24,516 --> 00:21:27,892
yes. Was very in at that time. We've talked about my

359
00:21:27,916 --> 00:21:30,756
ass on this podcast before. I have always had an ass,

360
00:21:30,908 --> 00:21:35,000
even when I was thin. I've had a bubble butt and I. It was not

361
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:38,520
cute to have a bubble butt. It was like you wanted to wear those super

362
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:42,008
high waisted. Do you remember those? Super high waisted like guest jeans.

363
00:21:42,104 --> 00:21:46,040
Yeah. That were, like, super, like, slim. And then

364
00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:49,432
after that was the low rise, which I couldn't wear the low rise because my

365
00:21:49,456 --> 00:21:52,680
ass was too big for the low rise. The whole thing is just.

366
00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:56,792
See? And I would have rather that I just had monstrous tits.

367
00:21:56,936 --> 00:22:00,218
I was a little thing, and it made me look so much bigger because I'm

368
00:22:00,234 --> 00:22:03,098
trying to duct tape them down. Oh, no,

369
00:22:03,234 --> 00:22:05,866
Nicole. I know. Oh, my God. That's awful.

370
00:22:05,978 --> 00:22:09,370
Kids were mean. Girls were mean. Yeah. See, nobody was mean

371
00:22:09,410 --> 00:22:13,130
to me. I was a recluse in high school. I literally

372
00:22:13,210 --> 00:22:16,570
just wanted to fit in. From everybody all the time. I didn't care about

373
00:22:16,610 --> 00:22:19,658
fitting in. I just wanted to be as invisible as possible.

374
00:22:19,794 --> 00:22:23,690
So, yeah. So I

375
00:22:23,810 --> 00:22:28,120
just did my best. You cannot relate to Lennon.

376
00:22:28,540 --> 00:22:32,020
I. Well, we can talk about it here. There is a

377
00:22:32,060 --> 00:22:35,540
part. One of the things that I struggle with, with Lenin,

378
00:22:35,700 --> 00:22:38,804
because I've been on both ends of the spectrum. I have been

379
00:22:38,972 --> 00:22:42,980
considered a big girl, and I've been very, very thin.

380
00:22:43,060 --> 00:22:45,364
When I was homeless and living out of my car, I was so small that

381
00:22:45,372 --> 00:22:49,092
I could fit into, like, extra large children's clothing.

382
00:22:49,156 --> 00:22:52,892
Yeah. So I have been on both ends of the spectrum.

383
00:22:53,076 --> 00:22:56,520
I think one of the things that I don't like

384
00:22:56,900 --> 00:23:01,164
about the way that Lennon is written is that

385
00:23:01,332 --> 00:23:05,260
she'll talk about it later, but talks about how food. Like,

386
00:23:05,300 --> 00:23:09,340
how she uses food to fill a void, which is

387
00:23:09,460 --> 00:23:12,892
such a fucking fat girl trope. Yeah. I'm not saying

388
00:23:12,916 --> 00:23:16,716
that it's not real. I get that it's real. I am currently

389
00:23:16,788 --> 00:23:20,092
shopping in the plus size section. I would consider myself mid size right now.

390
00:23:20,116 --> 00:23:24,088
Yeah. I'm a double XL on top. I'm an extra large on bottom.

391
00:23:24,264 --> 00:23:27,928
I eat three whole food

392
00:23:27,984 --> 00:23:31,512
meals a day. I walk my dog every single morning. I walk my dog every

393
00:23:31,536 --> 00:23:35,288
single night. I am still this size.

394
00:23:35,384 --> 00:23:39,500
Yeah. And I, like, I appreciate

395
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:43,608
sort of having an unhealthy relationship with food. I absolutely

396
00:23:43,784 --> 00:23:47,820
have had or have an unhealthy relationship with food to some degree.

397
00:23:48,130 --> 00:23:51,930
But I don't like that that is the way that she

398
00:23:51,970 --> 00:23:55,706
is written with that excuse. Because I just feel like it.

399
00:23:55,778 --> 00:23:58,778
You can be fat and just be fat. Yeah. Like you.

400
00:23:58,834 --> 00:24:02,234
You can be like. I. It. It doesn't necessarily mean that there has to

401
00:24:02,242 --> 00:24:05,470
be something wrong with you or you have to be sad to be fat.

402
00:24:05,890 --> 00:24:09,530
I don't know. I agree. I do think that's the way this character was

403
00:24:09,570 --> 00:24:12,778
written, though, because we see as she grows

404
00:24:12,794 --> 00:24:16,512
up and matures and is more comfortable with herself

405
00:24:16,576 --> 00:24:19,824
and her body, she just Naturally thins out.

406
00:24:19,912 --> 00:24:23,504
Yeah. So I think it. I'm gonna give the

407
00:24:23,512 --> 00:24:26,112
author the benefit of the doubt and assume that it was written as, like,

408
00:24:26,136 --> 00:24:29,660
a stylistic choice. Sure. Or a character development,

409
00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:33,760
not as, like, a trope. But it's a very common

410
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:37,180
trope. Yeah. I think my mom

411
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:41,200
is, like, one of the most unhealthy people

412
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:44,822
when it comes to food. She has the most unhealthy relationship. Right.

413
00:24:44,846 --> 00:24:47,862
After I had my daughter, we were up at the cabin, and I had just

414
00:24:47,886 --> 00:24:51,238
had. My kids were 13 months apart. We were up at the cabin, and I

415
00:24:51,294 --> 00:24:55,046
was. My mom was, like, braiding my hair, and while she was braiding my hair,

416
00:24:55,078 --> 00:24:57,190
she asked if we were going to have any more kids. And I said,

417
00:24:57,230 --> 00:25:00,486
no, I don't think so. And she said, well, you know, there's no. No excuse

418
00:25:00,518 --> 00:25:04,438
for you to carry the baby weight anymore. Then. My daughter was, like, legitimately.

419
00:25:04,534 --> 00:25:07,670
My daughter was born in May, so she couldn't have been more than four months

420
00:25:07,710 --> 00:25:11,002
old at that point. Oh, my God. And it's like,

421
00:25:11,166 --> 00:25:14,306
growing up, we did every single diet you can possibly imagine.

422
00:25:14,338 --> 00:25:17,762
We did Atkins, we did Weight Watchers, we did Slim

423
00:25:17,826 --> 00:25:21,010
Fast. Do you remember Slim Fast? We did Slim Fast. When I was,

424
00:25:21,050 --> 00:25:24,722
like, 13 years old, she would take me to Curves. Do you remember?

425
00:25:24,866 --> 00:25:28,370
Yep. Because I was. I've always been heavy, and my mom is

426
00:25:28,410 --> 00:25:31,938
like, you have to be thin. You have to be thin. And I think,

427
00:25:31,994 --> 00:25:35,314
like, to some degree, it kind of almost like,

428
00:25:35,402 --> 00:25:38,812
desensitized me to my weight, where it was just to the

429
00:25:38,836 --> 00:25:41,852
point where I was like, I know that I'm never going to be able to

430
00:25:41,876 --> 00:25:45,132
please her. And I went from, like, 0 to

431
00:25:45,156 --> 00:25:49,320
100 real quick on getting over the fact that I was, like, heavy and.

432
00:25:49,620 --> 00:25:52,124
And then I moved out of her house because I wasn't going to put up

433
00:25:52,132 --> 00:25:55,436
with her shit anymore. Yeah, basically. So I do think it's

434
00:25:55,468 --> 00:25:57,960
just, like, a little bit of a different.

435
00:25:58,260 --> 00:26:01,500
Did that ruin this book for you? It did not ruin this

436
00:26:01,540 --> 00:26:04,876
book for me. I. Some other things are in this book for you.

437
00:26:04,948 --> 00:26:08,908
Yeah. The thing that I really like about Lennon is, again, I do think that

438
00:26:08,964 --> 00:26:12,220
she. She just, like, she perseveres.

439
00:26:12,380 --> 00:26:15,980
And I don't think that her dad equipped her to

440
00:26:16,100 --> 00:26:19,884
handle tough things. So for her to be able to handle

441
00:26:19,932 --> 00:26:24,012
tough things despite that. Yeah, I think is

442
00:26:24,036 --> 00:26:28,204
very impressive. And that's only relevant in a book like this, where we get so

443
00:26:28,292 --> 00:26:31,560
much familial backstory. We get a

444
00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:34,120
lot of her relationship with her dad.

445
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:37,960
So I think it does give me a little bit more Context to liking

446
00:26:38,120 --> 00:26:41,976
Lennon. Yeah. What? You're just funny.

447
00:26:42,088 --> 00:26:45,608
Why? You think a lot

448
00:26:45,664 --> 00:26:48,696
about the books, and I think I'm. There's,

449
00:26:48,728 --> 00:26:52,632
like, a word for it. I'm just reading for a good time. Yeah. I'm not

450
00:26:52,656 --> 00:26:56,558
thinking too hard into some of these things. Yeah. And you really are.

451
00:26:56,694 --> 00:26:59,742
Yeah. And you can tell that you've given these things a lot of thought and

452
00:26:59,766 --> 00:27:03,614
then maybe spiraled a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I did want to spend

453
00:27:03,662 --> 00:27:07,182
a lot of time. Speaking of stories, I did want

454
00:27:07,206 --> 00:27:10,494
to spend a lot of time being very thoughtful about this book

455
00:27:10,662 --> 00:27:14,430
because Nicole and I recently encountered some

456
00:27:14,470 --> 00:27:18,078
fat phobia that was. I really did

457
00:27:18,134 --> 00:27:21,170
spiral a little bit. It made me, like, rage.

458
00:27:21,690 --> 00:27:25,122
And I was just thinking about how, speaking of

459
00:27:25,146 --> 00:27:29,746
people saying mean things, like, I was just thinking about how blatantly,

460
00:27:29,938 --> 00:27:33,714
in a professional working environment, one of my co workers

461
00:27:33,882 --> 00:27:37,682
literally looked at me and made a joke about being wider than

462
00:27:37,706 --> 00:27:41,042
I was tall. And when I asked him

463
00:27:41,066 --> 00:27:44,930
if he was making a fat joke, how quickly he was willing to say

464
00:27:44,970 --> 00:27:47,950
yes. Yeah, I am. And I like,

465
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:51,460
going into this book, I wanted to be really thoughtful because,

466
00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:55,416
like, the fact. The fact that Lennon is fat is.

467
00:27:55,568 --> 00:27:58,280
It's a big part of the book. Yeah. I mean, I would say it's like

468
00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:01,640
one of the primary elements of the book. We talk

469
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:05,080
a lot about her weight. A lot of her experiences with

470
00:28:05,120 --> 00:28:08,632
her weight defines who she is as a person. I mean, when you're a kid,

471
00:28:08,696 --> 00:28:12,328
that's the only hardship that a lot of kids have, especially Lennon.

472
00:28:12,424 --> 00:28:15,992
She, like you said, she has not had a ton of hardships. She doesn't have

473
00:28:16,016 --> 00:28:19,250
her mom, which is very hard, but her biggest.

474
00:28:19,410 --> 00:28:23,058
Yeah. And that's how others

475
00:28:23,114 --> 00:28:27,378
have defined her. And when that's how you're defined for 10 years,

476
00:28:27,514 --> 00:28:31,106
you could really. You let. You definitely let that shine yourself,

477
00:28:31,218 --> 00:28:34,550
girl. Yeah, absolutely. In a lot of ways,

478
00:28:34,970 --> 00:28:38,850
she really does have kind of like a perfect little

479
00:28:38,970 --> 00:28:42,642
life. And so there is sort of this element of, like, if I was

480
00:28:42,666 --> 00:28:45,666
just a little bit thinner, my life would be totally, completely perfect.

481
00:28:45,778 --> 00:28:49,262
And feeling so close, but so far away,

482
00:28:49,366 --> 00:28:53,390
like, that I can imagine, would really define

483
00:28:53,550 --> 00:28:57,150
how you interact with the world. So. But we do see later, too,

484
00:28:57,190 --> 00:29:00,318
like, when she does lose some weight, her life's not better.

485
00:29:00,454 --> 00:29:02,490
Yeah. And I think that is very,

486
00:29:03,270 --> 00:29:07,250
maybe intentional that just because now you have the body you wanted,

487
00:29:07,590 --> 00:29:11,038
life's not better. Yeah, absolutely. I agree with that.

488
00:29:11,174 --> 00:29:13,742
That's such a good point. And I love that you brought that up. You.

489
00:29:13,766 --> 00:29:17,614
Yeah, yeah. So back to Lennon. Lennon gets home

490
00:29:17,782 --> 00:29:22,050
and we meet Mrs. Palma, her neighbor.

491
00:29:25,830 --> 00:29:28,090
I know that you know what I'm gonna say.

492
00:29:28,630 --> 00:29:31,742
I. I've said it before, and I've said it a

493
00:29:31,766 --> 00:29:34,334
million times. I hate these, like,

494
00:29:34,422 --> 00:29:37,950
superficial, really. I hate them so much.

495
00:29:37,990 --> 00:29:41,678
In books. Do you feel like Ms. Palma is a superficial?

496
00:29:41,854 --> 00:29:45,048
There are some. And I have notes. I have notes. Let me read

497
00:29:45,104 --> 00:29:48,840
this next interaction. Okay. So Lennon is talking to her

498
00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:52,136
about her cat. And apparently Mrs.

499
00:29:52,168 --> 00:29:55,800
Palma is a clairvoyant and is like,

500
00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:57,900
who's. So who's the boy?

501
00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:02,600
She's like, oh, my. Sorry. My cat wandered over into your

502
00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:05,944
yard the other day. And she's like, oh, no, it's fine. And she's like,

503
00:30:06,032 --> 00:30:09,314
who's the boy? Like, I'm sorry,

504
00:30:09,472 --> 00:30:13,118
What? That is. That is not. That is literally,

505
00:30:13,214 --> 00:30:16,010
almost verbatim how the conversation went.

506
00:30:16,390 --> 00:30:18,890
I. I don't know.

507
00:30:20,230 --> 00:30:23,806
You're so funny. Mrs. Palma is, @ this point,

508
00:30:23,878 --> 00:30:27,342
Lennon's best friend. Lennon doesn't have any other friends, so Mrs. Palma is

509
00:30:27,366 --> 00:30:31,502
her best friend, and she becomes very important. They are

510
00:30:31,526 --> 00:30:34,526
very close. Yeah, we love Mrs. Palma.

511
00:30:34,718 --> 00:30:38,092
She's great. You're so funny, too, because, again, I feel like

512
00:30:38,116 --> 00:30:41,356
that's realistic. The. No. What else? What? What?

513
00:30:41,428 --> 00:30:44,892
Just. They don't even know how else to interact with

514
00:30:44,916 --> 00:30:48,524
a high school girl. How. How did Mrs.

515
00:30:48,572 --> 00:30:52,652
Palma go from my cat was in your yard yesterday

516
00:30:52,716 --> 00:30:55,612
to who is the boy? Off of her saying.

517
00:30:55,716 --> 00:30:59,436
She's not asking, like, so, are you dating anyone? I know literally asks her,

518
00:30:59,508 --> 00:31:03,250
who's the boy? Like, I just. You're so

519
00:31:03,290 --> 00:31:07,202
funny. I just. I can't. Again, this is you reading

520
00:31:07,346 --> 00:31:10,978
so much and just so little. I know. I honestly don't remember

521
00:31:10,994 --> 00:31:14,162
this part because I probably skipped it. The thing of it is, you made

522
00:31:14,186 --> 00:31:18,498
me read the book a second time, so I

523
00:31:18,554 --> 00:31:21,970
can't help it. The next night, Phoenix comes by to pick up

524
00:31:22,010 --> 00:31:25,810
Lennon for their tutoring session. And here we get

525
00:31:25,930 --> 00:31:29,132
the. Like, us against

526
00:31:29,236 --> 00:31:32,636
them, which I have so many fucking vague opinions

527
00:31:32,668 --> 00:31:36,156
about this. You really do. Phoenix is listening to Disturbed.

528
00:31:36,348 --> 00:31:40,236
I know. And Lennon is singing along. And Phoenix

529
00:31:40,268 --> 00:31:43,400
is like, you listen to this music,

530
00:31:45,140 --> 00:31:48,060
sir? Disturbed is a gateway music.

531
00:31:48,180 --> 00:31:51,084
Everybody listened to Disturbed. And she's like,

532
00:31:51,172 --> 00:31:55,062
I'm so misunderstood by all these unwashed miscreants

533
00:31:55,126 --> 00:31:58,390
listening to or hip hop crap.

534
00:31:58,550 --> 00:32:00,330
Like, oh, my God.

535
00:32:01,470 --> 00:32:04,918
Oh, my God. Down with the Sickness isn't even deserves best song.

536
00:32:05,014 --> 00:32:08,342
So the fact that she, like, snuck that in there, like, it was a flex

537
00:32:08,406 --> 00:32:11,894
is ridiculous. It was kind of giving. Pick me. Yeah. And then they're like.

538
00:32:11,902 --> 00:32:15,798
And then I have. I have other notes. Sure. They're also listening

539
00:32:15,814 --> 00:32:19,824
to I hate everything about you. Oh, my God. I know. Stop it.

540
00:32:19,912 --> 00:32:23,024
I know. Just stop it. And look at the

541
00:32:23,032 --> 00:32:26,640
thing of it is, is, like, I absolutely will listen to some

542
00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:30,272
disturbed. I absolutely will listen to some Three Days Grace. Absolutely. There's,

543
00:32:30,336 --> 00:32:32,960
like, favorite. There is absolutely. Yes.

544
00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:36,144
You're in high school. Nothing is.

545
00:32:36,312 --> 00:32:40,240
I. Yes. 100% believe was a great album,

546
00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:44,224
but I just think that there is already

547
00:32:44,392 --> 00:32:48,544
so much misogyny written into rock and metal

548
00:32:48,592 --> 00:32:51,868
music. And it. She just.

549
00:32:51,924 --> 00:32:55,212
It very. Like you said, pick me. Pick me is the best

550
00:32:55,236 --> 00:32:58,380
way to describe it. It just was not for me. Like me. Her dad does

551
00:32:58,420 --> 00:33:01,788
write these songs, so it does make sense that she's very immersed in this type

552
00:33:01,804 --> 00:33:05,788
of culture. Yeah. And she does have a very extensive knowledge.

553
00:33:05,884 --> 00:33:09,452
There's another part in this where she's helping Phoenix and Storm

554
00:33:09,516 --> 00:33:13,884
pick out a set list, and she can just, like, recall songs, their artists,

555
00:33:13,932 --> 00:33:17,070
their names off the top of her head. So she does have a very,

556
00:33:17,110 --> 00:33:19,850
very deep understanding of music. And again,

557
00:33:20,310 --> 00:33:23,790
they could have spent an entire book flushing out this relationship

558
00:33:23,870 --> 00:33:27,086
because her and Phoenix really, really connect on that.

559
00:33:27,158 --> 00:33:30,558
Yes. It's a very big part of how they

560
00:33:30,614 --> 00:33:34,030
become close to begin with is that they have

561
00:33:34,070 --> 00:33:38,030
similar taste in music and are both musically inclined

562
00:33:38,110 --> 00:33:41,278
as people. So they get to Storm's house, and before

563
00:33:41,334 --> 00:33:44,738
going in, Storm, Phoenix pins Lennon up against his car,

564
00:33:44,794 --> 00:33:48,946
accusing her of having a crush on him, which she does, and then

565
00:33:49,018 --> 00:33:52,514
telling her essentially, to keep it in her pants so

566
00:33:52,522 --> 00:33:53,990
that he can graduate.

567
00:33:57,210 --> 00:34:00,930
That was arrogant. Hi. Oh, my God.

568
00:34:01,090 --> 00:34:04,850
Are we gonna stop every paragraph for

569
00:34:04,890 --> 00:34:08,626
your thoughts? No, because as we get deeper

570
00:34:08,658 --> 00:34:12,402
into this book, my thoughts get really disjointed and just turn into bullet

571
00:34:12,466 --> 00:34:16,710
points. We'll end soon, I promise.

572
00:34:19,130 --> 00:34:22,962
While studying, we learn Phoenix big secret, which is

573
00:34:22,986 --> 00:34:27,250
that the reason that he's barely passing his classes is because he is managing

574
00:34:27,410 --> 00:34:30,866
undiagnosed dyslexia, which is not a joke.

575
00:34:30,978 --> 00:34:34,002
And it's a one of those things where,

576
00:34:34,106 --> 00:34:36,990
like, as a parent, I just.

577
00:34:37,530 --> 00:34:40,850
This boy, this now man,

578
00:34:40,970 --> 00:34:44,482
was absolutely continuously let down by

579
00:34:44,506 --> 00:34:47,922
the system in every way possible. I know that he was not going to school.

580
00:34:48,026 --> 00:34:51,810
I know that he was not going to doctor's appointments with

581
00:34:51,930 --> 00:34:54,390
no bruises, no burn scars.

582
00:34:55,210 --> 00:34:58,802
Somebody somewhere should have been able to see

583
00:34:58,986 --> 00:35:02,354
what was happening to him and stepped in and

584
00:35:02,442 --> 00:35:05,932
given him the care that he needed. When his dad's not showing up

585
00:35:05,956 --> 00:35:09,420
for conferences because he's too drunk, you're not, like,

586
00:35:09,540 --> 00:35:12,092
we should spend a little extra time with this kid to figure out what's going

587
00:35:12,116 --> 00:35:15,276
on. But like, yeah. You just automatically. He's written

588
00:35:15,308 --> 00:35:18,684
off as being dumb. Yes. And it fucking enrages me. Yeah.

589
00:35:18,732 --> 00:35:22,316
It makes me so mad. Lennon puts this together and

590
00:35:22,388 --> 00:35:26,012
is determined to help him. So from here on out, we don't see this in

591
00:35:26,036 --> 00:35:29,628
full scope, but apparently they start spending quite a bit of time together working on

592
00:35:29,684 --> 00:35:33,706
his reading until Lennon walks in on Phoenix

593
00:35:33,898 --> 00:35:37,130
fucking her arch nemesis, Sabrina.

594
00:35:37,290 --> 00:35:41,258
Yeah. Yeah. Lennon gets mad at Phoenix who

595
00:35:41,314 --> 00:35:44,910
promises not to fuck Sabrina anymore.

596
00:35:46,530 --> 00:35:50,202
What are your thoughts on that? Yeah, because I.

597
00:35:50,386 --> 00:35:53,930
He's originally annoyed that because

598
00:35:53,970 --> 00:35:57,528
he thinks that it's just because Lennon has a crush on him that he's.

599
00:35:57,634 --> 00:36:01,436
That she's annoyed with him for Sabrina. And Lena is like,

600
00:36:01,588 --> 00:36:04,620
friends don't fuck their friends. Bullies. Yeah.

601
00:36:04,700 --> 00:36:08,556
And I think that was very mature of her. Really. Because in her head

602
00:36:08,628 --> 00:36:12,108
I do 100%. It was because she's jealous.

603
00:36:12,204 --> 00:36:14,844
Yes. But that was a very sure,

604
00:36:14,932 --> 00:36:17,980
diplomatic thing to say and also so accurate.

605
00:36:18,060 --> 00:36:21,000
Yeah, Agree. I don't care. Yeah. That,

606
00:36:21,620 --> 00:36:24,604
like, he can fuck whoever he wants. I mean, obviously not because she is in

607
00:36:24,612 --> 00:36:27,722
love with him, but that one is just like twisting

608
00:36:27,786 --> 00:36:31,242
the knife in for sure. Well, and I didn't do a good job

609
00:36:31,266 --> 00:36:34,922
of capturing it in the notes, but he doesn't initially agree to that.

610
00:36:35,026 --> 00:36:38,682
He, like, feels bad and comes to her house and,

611
00:36:38,706 --> 00:36:42,074
like, throws stones at her window later and is like, fine, I won't do that

612
00:36:42,082 --> 00:36:45,562
anymore because we're friends. No, but I did love his little groveling thing.

613
00:36:45,666 --> 00:36:48,470
Yeah, I do love that. Yeah. You know.

614
00:36:48,770 --> 00:36:52,490
Lennon convinces their English teacher to allow Phoenix to take

615
00:36:52,530 --> 00:36:56,364
the English final with the help of a special reading

616
00:36:56,412 --> 00:37:00,220
pen. This is the part. This is the part

617
00:37:00,260 --> 00:37:03,196
where I literally. Oh, my God.

618
00:37:03,388 --> 00:37:06,492
So Lennon is like, oh, thank you so much. You won't regret it. And then

619
00:37:06,516 --> 00:37:10,412
she says, hey, Lennon, I'm so glad I paired you

620
00:37:10,436 --> 00:37:14,316
two up. It seems you've done a lot of good for him and Phoenix

621
00:37:14,348 --> 00:37:17,308
is lucky to have you or something. And Lennon is like,

622
00:37:17,444 --> 00:37:20,796
my chest constricts because I feel like I'm the lucky

623
00:37:20,828 --> 00:37:24,800
one. And I so literally. Oh, my God.

624
00:37:25,290 --> 00:37:29,266
I the. I literally rolled

625
00:37:29,298 --> 00:37:32,498
my eyes. You were not there. I should have recorded

626
00:37:32,594 --> 00:37:35,922
my reaction to this. My eyes rolled so far in the back of my

627
00:37:35,946 --> 00:37:39,186
head, I literally stuck my tongue out and was like,

628
00:37:39,258 --> 00:37:42,290
ah. Like it. I hated it.

629
00:37:42,410 --> 00:37:45,986
Yeah. Did you have any, like, life altering

630
00:37:46,018 --> 00:37:49,538
crushes when you were in high school? I think that might be why.

631
00:37:49,674 --> 00:37:53,500
Yeah. Like you never. This is like her.

632
00:37:53,620 --> 00:37:56,652
She's so obsessed with him. She's so in love with him. And now they get

633
00:37:56,676 --> 00:38:00,284
to work together because of this teacher. And she probably does feel really fucking grateful

634
00:38:00,412 --> 00:38:04,140
to this teacher. Sure. And she probably feels really lucky to even

635
00:38:04,180 --> 00:38:07,852
be having an excuse to be near him. I think in

636
00:38:07,876 --> 00:38:11,244
high school, honestly, middle school,

637
00:38:11,332 --> 00:38:14,380
even. I mean, honestly, as far back as I can remember. Elementary school.

638
00:38:14,500 --> 00:38:17,090
Call it elementary school. I.

639
00:38:18,110 --> 00:38:21,446
I don't have many memories of my life. Yeah. I distinctly

640
00:38:21,478 --> 00:38:24,262
remember I must have been younger than 8.

641
00:38:24,446 --> 00:38:27,830
And there was a little boy in the classroom who was giving a little

642
00:38:27,870 --> 00:38:31,570
girl a massage, like, rubbing her shoulders, like.

643
00:38:32,430 --> 00:38:35,750
And that is where the confusion started for me,

644
00:38:35,870 --> 00:38:38,454
because I didn't know if I wanted to be the boy or if I wanted

645
00:38:38,502 --> 00:38:41,158
to be the girl. And I, like,

646
00:38:41,294 --> 00:38:45,156
spent most of my youth, most of middle

647
00:38:45,188 --> 00:38:49,012
school, most of high school, not really understanding

648
00:38:49,076 --> 00:38:52,132
because growing up in the 90s, you didn't have bi people.

649
00:38:52,236 --> 00:38:55,860
No. Pan was not even a thing until I was

650
00:38:55,900 --> 00:38:58,692
married. I didn't even have a name for it. I used to just say that

651
00:38:58,716 --> 00:39:02,356
I was queer because I didn't know how to describe what I was.

652
00:39:02,508 --> 00:39:05,844
And so then it's like, I'm in school and I'm like, I don't. Am I

653
00:39:05,852 --> 00:39:08,980
making friends? Am I making girlfriends? Do I like boys?

654
00:39:09,060 --> 00:39:12,650
I like girls, but I don't dislike her. It was. The whole thing was very

655
00:39:12,690 --> 00:39:15,590
confusing. And I don't think that.

656
00:39:16,050 --> 00:39:19,242
I just, like, don't think that it even really allowed for me to

657
00:39:19,266 --> 00:39:22,874
be, like, wildly obsessed with anybody. Yeah,

658
00:39:22,922 --> 00:39:26,746
unfortunately. So I think that's where it's losing you.

659
00:39:26,898 --> 00:39:30,762
Maybe. This was very much not your high school experience. And I

660
00:39:30,786 --> 00:39:34,026
can relate a little more to these types of situations.

661
00:39:34,138 --> 00:39:36,630
Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm doing my best.

662
00:39:37,510 --> 00:39:39,930
I really am. We don't agree.

663
00:39:42,710 --> 00:39:46,718
Well, this is where Lennon and Phoenix relationship really

664
00:39:46,854 --> 00:39:50,302
starts to take a turn. Lennon approaches him

665
00:39:50,406 --> 00:39:54,190
while he is, like, macking on one of Sabrina's friends because

666
00:39:54,310 --> 00:39:56,862
he's not gonna have sex with Sabrina, but he is gonna have sex with her

667
00:39:56,886 --> 00:40:00,398
friends. And he basically tells this girl to shove off

668
00:40:00,454 --> 00:40:04,082
so that he and Lennon can talk. And she tells him the news

669
00:40:04,246 --> 00:40:07,962
that the teacher is going to allow this. And he hugs her. And then I

670
00:40:07,986 --> 00:40:10,458
have a note here that says Lennon has an aneurysm.

671
00:40:10,554 --> 00:40:14,106
Literally, this boy she's not in love with.

672
00:40:14,258 --> 00:40:17,626
And this is why you just. You can't. You don't like this.

673
00:40:17,778 --> 00:40:21,402
No, I was really happy for her. Again, like, this is her dream

674
00:40:21,466 --> 00:40:24,842
guy, and he's hugging her. Yeah. No, I love

675
00:40:24,866 --> 00:40:28,442
that. I do, too. But that's a really great way to describe it, is an

676
00:40:28,466 --> 00:40:31,702
aneurysm. Yes. They go

677
00:40:31,726 --> 00:40:35,062
back to Storm's place, and Phoenix makes Lennon play him

678
00:40:35,086 --> 00:40:38,710
a song that she wrote. And here

679
00:40:38,750 --> 00:40:41,878
is where he starts to develop a little crush.

680
00:40:42,054 --> 00:40:45,110
But he isn't willing to admit it to himself or to Storm.

681
00:40:45,270 --> 00:40:49,222
To clarify, Phoenix has always had a healthy amount of respect

682
00:40:49,406 --> 00:40:51,734
for Lennon. Yeah, always.

683
00:40:51,902 --> 00:40:55,462
So we're not entering into this friendship from a place of

684
00:40:55,486 --> 00:40:59,112
disdain on Phoenix's part, which I think is important to

685
00:40:59,136 --> 00:41:02,904
make this all feel more plausible. The day comes for Phoenix to

686
00:41:02,912 --> 00:41:07,016
take his final exam, and he passes. And while celebrating, his emotions

687
00:41:07,048 --> 00:41:10,920
get the better of him. And he kisses Lennon. Realizing what

688
00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:13,832
he did, he promptly rushes away,

689
00:41:13,936 --> 00:41:17,416
leaving Lennon hanging for three days.

690
00:41:17,568 --> 00:41:21,352
Yeah. He just straight ignores her, the way she must have

691
00:41:21,376 --> 00:41:25,048
felt. Oh, my God. Yeah. Because this guy that you like has now kissed

692
00:41:25,064 --> 00:41:28,040
the guy you love has kissed you, and now.

693
00:41:28,160 --> 00:41:31,944
Yeah. Is just shame spiraling. Oh, a hundred percent.

694
00:41:32,032 --> 00:41:35,832
Yeah. She. And I can recognize with that. That feeling she

695
00:41:35,856 --> 00:41:39,624
is very like, I did something wrong. I was a bad kisser.

696
00:41:39,752 --> 00:41:42,712
I'm inexperienced. Phoenix is so experienced.

697
00:41:42,776 --> 00:41:46,568
I must have been really bad at it. And the whole thing is awful.

698
00:41:46,744 --> 00:41:51,144
It's the day of graduation, and that night Lennon

699
00:41:51,192 --> 00:41:55,062
goes to a end of year party alone. So her

700
00:41:55,086 --> 00:41:58,678
and Phoenix have not made up yet. And Sabrina

701
00:41:58,854 --> 00:42:02,950
and her friends pull a carry and they

702
00:42:02,990 --> 00:42:06,918
pour pig slop onto Lennon

703
00:42:07,094 --> 00:42:09,970
and then circle her,

704
00:42:10,510 --> 00:42:13,450
making, like. Winking at her noises.

705
00:42:13,870 --> 00:42:16,838
It's fucking disgusting. Yeah. And again,

706
00:42:16,894 --> 00:42:20,150
I don't think that bullying fully quantifies.

707
00:42:20,230 --> 00:42:23,494
No, no. Carrie had it right.

708
00:42:23,582 --> 00:42:26,230
Carrie had it right. Yes.

709
00:42:26,310 --> 00:42:30,054
Honestly, Phoenix was not at the party. He slept

710
00:42:30,102 --> 00:42:33,526
through the party. And he gets a call from Storm,

711
00:42:33,718 --> 00:42:37,334
who has collected Lennon in his truck.

712
00:42:37,462 --> 00:42:41,062
She is in shock. And he is basically calling Phoenix to

713
00:42:41,086 --> 00:42:44,214
figure out what he should do with her,

714
00:42:44,382 --> 00:42:48,354
which I also thought was very interesting because I

715
00:42:48,362 --> 00:42:52,018
don't know, it just. I think Storm and Phoenix are such good friends.

716
00:42:52,154 --> 00:42:56,562
Yeah. I think it says a lot about how Storm

717
00:42:56,626 --> 00:42:59,550
knows that Phoenix feels about it,

718
00:43:00,010 --> 00:43:03,266
even though Phoenix isn't willing to admit it to himself. And this is where

719
00:43:03,338 --> 00:43:06,790
we could. We would have benefited from this being longer

720
00:43:07,130 --> 00:43:09,890
because, you know, like, I hear. I was like,

721
00:43:10,010 --> 00:43:13,122
Phoenix is talking about her. Yep. He and Storm are

722
00:43:13,146 --> 00:43:16,530
having conversations and she. And she's coming up in the way. Of talk about her.

723
00:43:16,570 --> 00:43:19,352
Yes. In the way of like, oh, yeah, I was just talking to Lennon about

724
00:43:19,376 --> 00:43:21,992
that. Or I was think. I was thinking we should do something like this because

725
00:43:22,016 --> 00:43:25,272
I know that Lennon was talking about how she really, like, it's coming up

726
00:43:25,296 --> 00:43:28,888
in that kind of way. When they're having general conversations, it's very

727
00:43:28,944 --> 00:43:32,264
clear to Storm throughout this entire book

728
00:43:32,352 --> 00:43:36,136
how Phoenix feels about her. For sure. I love Storm.

729
00:43:36,248 --> 00:43:39,848
I love Storm. Storm is. And, you know, he's just sexy.

730
00:43:39,944 --> 00:43:44,114
Oh, my God. Yes. And oh, my God, the handcuffs

731
00:43:44,162 --> 00:43:47,154
and the. The body. Strapping devices.

732
00:43:47,282 --> 00:43:49,630
Oh, yes. Call me.

733
00:43:50,330 --> 00:43:53,842
Phoenix decides to rush over to the party where he picks her

734
00:43:53,866 --> 00:43:57,746
up and he takes her back to Gran's house to get cleaned

735
00:43:57,778 --> 00:44:01,630
up. And she starts to cry. And again,

736
00:44:02,170 --> 00:44:06,338
just talking, speaking to Lennon's

737
00:44:06,354 --> 00:44:09,052
trauma here, she says something like,

738
00:44:09,186 --> 00:44:13,208
as if having Pig slap poured on me wasn't humiliating enough, now he's gonna

739
00:44:13,224 --> 00:44:16,792
see me cry. Which is like, my God, babe,

740
00:44:16,856 --> 00:44:20,920
cry. I know. Cry. Like, that's not humiliating.

741
00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:24,424
Just cry. It's not humiliating unless you're friends with Nicole. Because then Nicole brings it

742
00:44:24,432 --> 00:44:27,848
up. But it was just.

743
00:44:27,904 --> 00:44:31,560
Oh, my God. I was like. Of all of the things to compare that

744
00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:36,104
to, like, that she would categorize crying in front of these people as

745
00:44:36,192 --> 00:44:39,464
the same amount of humiliation as having pig slop thrown on

746
00:44:39,472 --> 00:44:43,128
her. Just says a lot about how much internalized trauma that she's

747
00:44:43,144 --> 00:44:47,128
been experiencing. Yeah. He comforts her, and they decide

748
00:44:47,224 --> 00:44:50,280
to get drunk and play Never have I Ever,

749
00:44:50,320 --> 00:44:53,624
which apparently Phoenix had never played before, which is so bizarre. I know.

750
00:44:53,792 --> 00:44:57,480
The game eventually turns into Truth or Dare, and they end

751
00:44:57,520 --> 00:45:00,940
up in Phoenix's car in front of his trailer.

752
00:45:01,370 --> 00:45:05,138
So Lennon, as part of her sort

753
00:45:05,154 --> 00:45:08,834
of experience with her body, she does this thing

754
00:45:08,922 --> 00:45:12,450
where she writes on her body in permanent marker

755
00:45:12,530 --> 00:45:15,550
all of the mean things that people say to her.

756
00:45:15,850 --> 00:45:18,630
And while she was changing,

757
00:45:18,970 --> 00:45:21,986
Phoenix walked in to get her, like, a towel or some clothes

758
00:45:22,018 --> 00:45:25,170
or something and saw them on her and didn't know what they were,

759
00:45:25,210 --> 00:45:28,532
so he thought it was a tattoo. So his dare to her is, show me

760
00:45:28,556 --> 00:45:31,604
your tattoos. And he sees

761
00:45:31,732 --> 00:45:35,252
what she's written on herself, and then she's like, show me

762
00:45:35,276 --> 00:45:38,500
where you live. And she's like, I literally just showed you

763
00:45:38,540 --> 00:45:41,988
the most intimate thing I've never shared with anybody,

764
00:45:42,084 --> 00:45:45,444
not even my dad. Like, and she doesn't know

765
00:45:45,612 --> 00:45:49,012
about his home life. I think she can guess that it's not great just

766
00:45:49,036 --> 00:45:52,676
based on the little comments he's made about her. Yes. Life and how perfect

767
00:45:52,708 --> 00:45:56,444
it is. She doesn't know the extent. She doesn't realize

768
00:45:56,492 --> 00:45:59,532
what she's asking. And they get there, and he's like,

769
00:45:59,556 --> 00:46:03,180
are you happy now, princess? And she's like, I didn't ask to do this

770
00:46:03,300 --> 00:46:06,604
so that I could, like, reside in my white tower

771
00:46:06,652 --> 00:46:11,516
over you. I did it Because I wanted to get to know you more closely.

772
00:46:11,708 --> 00:46:14,828
And he responds well to that. I think

773
00:46:14,884 --> 00:46:18,360
he really. Throughout this entire time,

774
00:46:19,070 --> 00:46:22,406
multiple times throughout this. Lennon is a cheerleader for Phoenix.

775
00:46:22,518 --> 00:46:25,686
She tells him all the time, probably things that he

776
00:46:25,758 --> 00:46:28,742
has never heard from somebody like Lennon,

777
00:46:28,806 --> 00:46:32,582
which is like, you are incredible. You're amazing.

778
00:46:32,646 --> 00:46:36,182
You're going to change the world. Like, all of the things. And nobody has ever

779
00:46:36,206 --> 00:46:39,702
said that to him, maybe, besides Storm and, like, a man kind of

780
00:46:39,726 --> 00:46:42,806
way. Well, I think he probably is familiar with getting that type

781
00:46:42,838 --> 00:46:45,934
of praise from women. Yeah. But not.

782
00:46:46,102 --> 00:46:49,966
He respects her. Exactly. So they're parked

783
00:46:49,998 --> 00:46:53,982
in front of Phoenix's trailer, and he dares Lennon to give him a

784
00:46:54,006 --> 00:46:57,342
blowjob. And she, like, catches her breath

785
00:46:57,406 --> 00:47:00,734
and is. He's like, just kidding. And she's like,

786
00:47:00,902 --> 00:47:04,414
no, you're not. Yep, I'm not gonna do it. Yeah, that was the dare,

787
00:47:04,462 --> 00:47:07,838
and I'm gonna do it. Yeah. And so she

788
00:47:07,894 --> 00:47:11,112
does. And I really. I don't have a note about this,

789
00:47:11,136 --> 00:47:14,472
but I did really like here how she says, you have to

790
00:47:14,496 --> 00:47:17,640
tell me what you like so that I can do it the way that you

791
00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:20,904
like. And again, a very,

792
00:47:20,992 --> 00:47:24,680
like, reasonable and responsible thing, especially for somebody who has

793
00:47:24,720 --> 00:47:28,568
never had sex and never given a blowjob before. So I just really

794
00:47:28,624 --> 00:47:31,480
like that she opened with such good communication. Yeah.

795
00:47:31,560 --> 00:47:35,272
Well, he does. She didn't tell him that she has given a blowjob and

796
00:47:35,296 --> 00:47:38,430
she has had sex before. She did tell him that. During. Yes,

797
00:47:38,510 --> 00:47:41,502
during. Never have I ever. Yeah. She wants to communicate to make sure this is

798
00:47:41,526 --> 00:47:44,590
good for him. Yeah. But she doesn't want him to know that she's never done

799
00:47:44,630 --> 00:47:47,774
these things. Yeah. And she gives him

800
00:47:47,782 --> 00:47:51,454
his blowjob. It's great. He's enjoying himself.

801
00:47:51,582 --> 00:47:55,006
And right before he comes, they are interrupted when his dad

802
00:47:55,118 --> 00:47:58,590
stumbles out of the trailer drunk, threatening to beat his

803
00:47:58,630 --> 00:48:02,110
ass, and he drives off. But Lennon

804
00:48:02,190 --> 00:48:06,750
persists. Yeah. Yeah. So she,

805
00:48:06,870 --> 00:48:10,094
like, makes like she's gonna go back to sucking his dick,

806
00:48:10,222 --> 00:48:13,838
and he grabs her by the neck and

807
00:48:13,894 --> 00:48:17,294
starts, like, sucking on her neck while she jerks him off.

808
00:48:17,382 --> 00:48:20,990
And then just as he's about to come, she puts her mouth around

809
00:48:21,030 --> 00:48:24,190
his dick to swallow it. So hot. It's hot.

810
00:48:24,230 --> 00:48:26,970
It's a good scene. It is. Yeah. The car.

811
00:48:27,750 --> 00:48:30,944
When I was younger, the car sex did it for me. Yeah. I.

812
00:48:31,032 --> 00:48:34,384
Yeah, when you were younger, you just gave Dave a hand job.

813
00:48:34,472 --> 00:48:37,712
Not but four months ago. Yeah. In the

814
00:48:37,736 --> 00:48:41,856
car. Yes. So he brings her home and

815
00:48:41,928 --> 00:48:45,984
they discuss what comes next. Phoenix is moving to LA in 11 days,

816
00:48:46,072 --> 00:48:49,296
and Lennon is leaving for Dartmouth at the end of the summer,

817
00:48:49,328 --> 00:48:52,976
and they agree to remain friends and make the most of the next 11

818
00:48:53,048 --> 00:48:57,296
days before he leaves. While practicing for their debut at a local

819
00:48:57,368 --> 00:49:01,052
club, Lennon helps Storm and Phoenix pick their set.

820
00:49:01,156 --> 00:49:04,320
So this is their very first kind of show as a band,

821
00:49:04,740 --> 00:49:08,476
and they are arguing over which three songs

822
00:49:08,508 --> 00:49:11,724
to play. They only do covers. Yeah. And Storm,

823
00:49:11,772 --> 00:49:15,036
obviously, as a drummer, wants there to be drum heavy music,

824
00:49:15,108 --> 00:49:18,636
and Phoenix, as the singer, wants it to be singer heavy music.

825
00:49:18,788 --> 00:49:22,092
And they're arguing about it. And here is where Lennon busts out

826
00:49:22,116 --> 00:49:25,866
all of her song knowledge and she helps them pick three completely different

827
00:49:25,938 --> 00:49:29,754
songs, basically. And they, like, work through the set

828
00:49:29,842 --> 00:49:34,618
and. But they've been kind of fighting and kind of going at it. And Storm

829
00:49:34,794 --> 00:49:38,666
decides that he needs a break and that he's gonna leave Phoenix

830
00:49:38,698 --> 00:49:42,986
and Lennon to go hook up with someone. And Lennon

831
00:49:43,018 --> 00:49:47,482
and Phoenix get into an argument. And Phoenix makes Lennon perform

832
00:49:47,666 --> 00:49:51,162
another song, but this time with her eyes

833
00:49:51,226 --> 00:49:54,156
closed as she's performing.

834
00:49:54,268 --> 00:49:57,800
He is basically behind her, like, teasing her body.

835
00:49:58,100 --> 00:50:01,500
And he kind of starts, like, playing with her breasts and then

836
00:50:01,540 --> 00:50:05,244
fingers her to orgasm, all while she's playing her song

837
00:50:05,292 --> 00:50:09,004
with her eyes closed. And just as she orgasms, the electricity

838
00:50:09,052 --> 00:50:12,972
goes out because of a storm. Yeah. And Phoenix

839
00:50:13,036 --> 00:50:16,700
makes her lick his fingers clean and

840
00:50:16,740 --> 00:50:19,938
moves Lennon to a futon in the garage while he

841
00:50:19,994 --> 00:50:24,290
confirms that she's done this before. And she says yes. So she

842
00:50:24,330 --> 00:50:27,858
is lying to him. Yes. Saying that she's not a virgin,

843
00:50:28,034 --> 00:50:31,810
even though she is a virgin. And they

844
00:50:31,850 --> 00:50:35,746
proceed to have sex. It's this.

845
00:50:35,818 --> 00:50:39,330
It is. It's horrible first time sex. It's. Yes.

846
00:50:39,410 --> 00:50:43,330
All of our experience, I'm sure. Painful. Of course. He's just too big because

847
00:50:43,370 --> 00:50:47,236
he's a man in a book. Right, right, right. Yeah, absolutely. And she's so tight.

848
00:50:47,338 --> 00:50:50,896
Yep. And like,

849
00:50:50,968 --> 00:50:54,304
while they're kind of in the middle of this awkwardness,

850
00:50:54,432 --> 00:50:58,448
Storm returns and the lights come back on. At which point

851
00:50:58,584 --> 00:51:01,904
Phoenix learns that Lennon lied to him and she was actually a

852
00:51:01,912 --> 00:51:04,832
virgin because she. The crime scene. Yeah.

853
00:51:04,896 --> 00:51:08,800
Because she bled all over. Oh, my God. I just.

854
00:51:08,920 --> 00:51:11,648
My secondhand embarrassment here. Yeah.

855
00:51:11,824 --> 00:51:14,540
Outrageous. Like, I, I.

856
00:51:15,080 --> 00:51:18,864
That I feel like has got to be pretty

857
00:51:18,912 --> 00:51:22,368
common, though. I think everybody's first time just is this.

858
00:51:22,424 --> 00:51:26,240
Yeah. Yeah. He decides to take her home. They're mad.

859
00:51:26,320 --> 00:51:30,112
He's mad that she lied and she's mad that he's mad. And they

860
00:51:30,136 --> 00:51:33,936
argue some more. They argue a lot. They really do. And Lennon

861
00:51:33,968 --> 00:51:36,736
apologizes. And just as they're about to, like,

862
00:51:36,808 --> 00:51:40,160
go again. Well, this is to where. So he kisses her,

863
00:51:40,200 --> 00:51:43,550
which he's said he doesn't kiss. Yep. And he kisses her and

864
00:51:43,850 --> 00:51:46,562
she's like, what the hell are. Like, what are you doing? And he says that

865
00:51:46,586 --> 00:51:49,938
I'm pursuing this. And I did like that part. And then her dad

866
00:51:49,954 --> 00:51:53,714
interrupts. Yeah, but Phoenix is great about it.

867
00:51:53,802 --> 00:51:57,170
And then he tells her that he's gonna leave her name at the door for

868
00:51:57,210 --> 00:52:00,658
her to get into the club for the show. Which in the back of Lennon's

869
00:52:00,674 --> 00:52:03,458
mind, she's like, that sounds like something you do for your girlfriend.

870
00:52:03,634 --> 00:52:06,770
And then he promises that the next time that they have sex, he'll make her

871
00:52:06,810 --> 00:52:10,518
come so hard it'll be worth the 44 hour drive.

872
00:52:10,674 --> 00:52:14,302
And after he leaves, Lennon realizes that that is the drive

873
00:52:14,366 --> 00:52:17,854
time from Dartmouth to la. I loved that part

874
00:52:17,942 --> 00:52:21,246
because again, we knew that he was talking about her and he had this crush

875
00:52:21,278 --> 00:52:24,814
on her, which he hadn't acknowledged himself and they hadn't even

876
00:52:24,902 --> 00:52:28,958
done anything yet. And he has already looked up on.

877
00:52:29,014 --> 00:52:32,478
Because this was MapQuest time. He didn't get out his smartphone.

878
00:52:32,574 --> 00:52:36,690
Right. He went on Storm's grab a computer and mapquested

879
00:52:37,350 --> 00:52:40,670
how long of a drive. And that level of effort.

880
00:52:40,830 --> 00:52:44,670
Yeah, really got me. I know. It's the lack of consistency

881
00:52:44,750 --> 00:52:47,758
that loses me. So the next night,

882
00:52:47,814 --> 00:52:51,374
Storm and Phoenix realize that a famous talent

883
00:52:51,422 --> 00:52:55,662
scout is going to be in attendance at their show and

884
00:52:55,686 --> 00:52:59,198
decide that they need to pivot because they feel like cover

885
00:52:59,254 --> 00:53:02,734
songs won't be enough to impress him. Phoenix concocts

886
00:53:02,782 --> 00:53:06,202
a plan. And I didn't know how to write this,

887
00:53:06,306 --> 00:53:09,898
but he basically concocts a plan where he essentially tells

888
00:53:09,914 --> 00:53:13,450
Storms that he's been working on something, which we

889
00:53:13,490 --> 00:53:16,858
learn later is Lennon's song. In his

890
00:53:16,914 --> 00:53:19,658
mind, he's like, I know exactly what to do. It's only going to cost me

891
00:53:19,714 --> 00:53:23,754
the only person I've ever cared about. So he has

892
00:53:23,922 --> 00:53:27,498
Storm practicing Lennon's song, and then he calls Sabrina

893
00:53:27,674 --> 00:53:32,226
to fuck around with her, knowing that Lennon

894
00:53:32,258 --> 00:53:35,794
is going to show up and catch them. And Lennon

895
00:53:35,842 --> 00:53:39,550
is basically like, I hate you. I never want to see you again.

896
00:53:40,090 --> 00:53:44,002
And just horrible. It's horrible. And then

897
00:53:44,026 --> 00:53:47,490
four months later, she hears Phoenix singing her

898
00:53:47,530 --> 00:53:50,830
song on the radio. Yeah, and it was.

899
00:53:51,130 --> 00:53:54,642
It was awful. Yeah. And it is too, because,

900
00:53:54,666 --> 00:53:57,936
you know, if he would have asked, she would have given it to him.

901
00:53:58,008 --> 00:54:02,064
Yeah, she says that later in the book. I just. Yeah. Her heartbreak,

902
00:54:02,112 --> 00:54:05,072
I could feel. Yeah. 100%.

903
00:54:05,256 --> 00:54:09,344
We're four years later and Phoenix and Storm's band, Sharp Objects,

904
00:54:09,392 --> 00:54:13,020
are celebrating the winning of A Grammy. We meet

905
00:54:13,320 --> 00:54:17,152
the rest of the band who were introduced after they

906
00:54:17,176 --> 00:54:20,902
were signed. So we have Josh and his foster brother Memphis,

907
00:54:21,096 --> 00:54:24,586
and they're in the band. And then Josh is engaged to Skyler,

908
00:54:24,698 --> 00:54:27,850
who we learn he often cheats on. And then we

909
00:54:27,890 --> 00:54:31,290
also meet Chandler, who is the band's manager.

910
00:54:31,370 --> 00:54:35,018
They. His name is Chandler Dickey and they call him Dickie because he's a dick.

911
00:54:35,114 --> 00:54:38,842
So he describes Josh and Memphis as

912
00:54:38,946 --> 00:54:41,738
brothers to him. And while celebrating,

913
00:54:41,834 --> 00:54:45,370
Josh introduces Phoenix to heroin.

914
00:54:45,530 --> 00:54:48,842
They decide to go for a joyride in Chandler's car. They're all fucked up.

915
00:54:48,946 --> 00:54:52,698
And when Phoenix realizes how fucked up he is, he pulls over

916
00:54:52,754 --> 00:54:56,362
to wait for Storm to come and get them. Josh says that he can

917
00:54:56,386 --> 00:54:59,546
drive and then promptly crashes the car.

918
00:54:59,698 --> 00:55:03,514
And Phoenix comes to and we really just kind of

919
00:55:03,522 --> 00:55:07,082
get a really horrible scene. Josh initially is alive and then dies right in

920
00:55:07,106 --> 00:55:10,922
front of him. And then we learn that there was another car involved

921
00:55:10,986 --> 00:55:14,234
and that everyone in the other car are also dead as well.

922
00:55:14,322 --> 00:55:18,214
So Phoenix was the only survivor of the crash. It's really, really horrific.

923
00:55:18,262 --> 00:55:22,198
Yeah. Three months later and Phoenix is in full blown

924
00:55:22,294 --> 00:55:25,814
free fall after an incident at a hotel where he had sex with

925
00:55:25,822 --> 00:55:29,558
a groupie on the hotel bar. His publicist quits,

926
00:55:29,734 --> 00:55:33,606
is replaced by Josh's widow, Skyler, who apparently has always wanted

927
00:55:33,638 --> 00:55:36,886
to be in PR. And we learned that he's

928
00:55:36,918 --> 00:55:40,800
blown through 10 sober companions on their

929
00:55:40,840 --> 00:55:43,952
two month. Tour because they can't stop having sex with them. Yeah,

930
00:55:44,016 --> 00:55:46,592
well, all the men want to be friend with. Be friends with him and all

931
00:55:46,616 --> 00:55:50,800
the women want to him. So Storm love

932
00:55:50,840 --> 00:55:54,432
him. Yep. Comes up with an idea to find someone who

933
00:55:54,536 --> 00:55:57,744
hates Phoenix. And here starts.

934
00:55:57,792 --> 00:56:00,608
This is really where the story starts. Yes.

935
00:56:00,704 --> 00:56:04,240
Yep. So things have changed for Lennon since we

936
00:56:04,280 --> 00:56:07,754
left off four years ago. She had gone to college,

937
00:56:07,882 --> 00:56:11,482
she lost some weight, she got a boyfriend

938
00:56:11,546 --> 00:56:14,762
and had to quit college to go home and take care

939
00:56:14,786 --> 00:56:18,666
of her father after he was diagnosed with early onset dementia

940
00:56:18,858 --> 00:56:22,986
and is now working as a bartender at a gentleman's

941
00:56:23,018 --> 00:56:26,586
club. And she's struggling financially because she's

942
00:56:26,618 --> 00:56:30,630
paying for all of the expenses of the home as well as

943
00:56:30,930 --> 00:56:34,606
all of her father's expenses because she didn't

944
00:56:34,638 --> 00:56:37,694
want to put him in a home. And she's caring for him, which is a

945
00:56:37,702 --> 00:56:41,886
lot of work. And I think we talked about this because she

946
00:56:41,958 --> 00:56:44,890
says here that she gets down to a 1012.

947
00:56:45,910 --> 00:56:49,134
And my toxic trait is that I don't think 1012 is that big. I'm a

948
00:56:49,142 --> 00:56:52,270
1012. I know. So I like

949
00:56:52,310 --> 00:56:55,822
throughout this whole book, she's like, basically, she still is called fat from here on.

950
00:56:55,846 --> 00:56:59,102
Yeah. She's still considered a fat girl from here on out. And I was just

951
00:56:59,126 --> 00:57:02,082
kind of like, I don't. Well, I mean, a co worker did call you fat,

952
00:57:02,146 --> 00:57:04,786
so. I know, but I just don't agree.

953
00:57:04,938 --> 00:57:08,030
It's just like I. The whole time I was like, is that.

954
00:57:09,210 --> 00:57:12,706
I know, I know. She is approached

955
00:57:12,738 --> 00:57:15,950
at work by Chandler and offered the job

956
00:57:16,250 --> 00:57:19,570
to watch Phoenix and make sure that he stays sober. And she

957
00:57:19,610 --> 00:57:22,706
declines and only gives in a few days later after

958
00:57:22,778 --> 00:57:26,372
Mrs. Palma offers to care for her dad and

959
00:57:26,396 --> 00:57:30,340
she is able to negotiate a $350,000 salary for the job. It's only

960
00:57:30,380 --> 00:57:34,340
two months that she has to stay. Worth it.

961
00:57:34,460 --> 00:57:37,572
100%. Yeah. Honestly, I would not have had

962
00:57:37,596 --> 00:57:40,724
the fortitude to turn down the 100k. I would not have either. I would have

963
00:57:40,732 --> 00:57:43,560
taken that. No. For two months of work. Yeah.

964
00:57:43,980 --> 00:57:48,276
She arrives in California just as the band is leaving for tour. And the rules

965
00:57:48,468 --> 00:57:52,320
are she needs to keep Phoenix out of trouble and out of the media.

966
00:57:52,650 --> 00:57:56,802
And she cannot have sex with Phoenix.

967
00:57:56,946 --> 00:58:00,274
She doesn't get paid until the two month tour is over.

968
00:58:00,362 --> 00:58:03,634
And she has been successful at keeping him in line.

969
00:58:03,802 --> 00:58:07,074
I think it's kind of a dumb rule I get keeping.

970
00:58:07,122 --> 00:58:10,482
Keep him sober, keep him in line. Does it matter if you have sex with

971
00:58:10,506 --> 00:58:13,170
him to God, the easiest way. To control him is to have sex with him.

972
00:58:13,210 --> 00:58:16,818
100%. Lennon shows up. Literally. He's like. He picks

973
00:58:16,834 --> 00:58:20,366
her up and then throws her in. Gives her the room key.

974
00:58:20,438 --> 00:58:23,374
He's like, here's your room key. You're staying with Phoenix tonight. Because I didn't get

975
00:58:23,382 --> 00:58:27,486
you another room. Yep, go ahead and take care of things. And she

976
00:58:27,638 --> 00:58:31,838
shows up. She gets into his hotel room and there

977
00:58:31,894 --> 00:58:37,550
is a. I'm gonna tell you right now, look it when

978
00:58:37,590 --> 00:58:41,150
I tell you I wish that I

979
00:58:41,190 --> 00:58:45,326
was Phoenix because this party is the type

980
00:58:45,358 --> 00:58:48,650
of party that I would like to have for the rest of my life.

981
00:58:49,430 --> 00:58:52,890
It's a hotel party. There's 20 people in the room.

982
00:58:53,350 --> 00:58:56,910
Phoenix is standing in the middle of the room giving. Getting head from two women

983
00:58:56,950 --> 00:59:00,430
on their knees in front of him. And then there's like a

984
00:59:00,470 --> 00:59:03,582
woman with like coke, lines of coke on her breast that

985
00:59:03,606 --> 00:59:07,950
people are. There's a small line waiting their

986
00:59:07,990 --> 00:59:11,112
hit off of her. Oh my God. Off of her chest.

987
00:59:11,286 --> 00:59:14,788
And I. The whole thing just sounds like a good fucking time.

988
00:59:14,844 --> 00:59:17,924
It really does. I'm sure that there were people probably having sex on the corners

989
00:59:17,972 --> 00:59:22,000
of the room. Yeah. She kicks everybody out and

990
00:59:22,700 --> 00:59:26,100
brings Phoenix to bed, where she handcuffs him.

991
00:59:26,220 --> 00:59:30,400
He doesn't recognize her. Yeah. Under the guise that she's gonna have sex with him.

992
00:59:30,700 --> 00:59:34,100
He has no idea, like, who she is.

993
00:59:34,220 --> 00:59:37,636
He thinks she looks familiar and says, oh, have I fucked you before?

994
00:59:37,708 --> 00:59:41,478
Yeah. Yep. Yeah. I would be raging.

995
00:59:41,574 --> 00:59:45,366
But the thing of it is, is, like, I love that he is so attracted

996
00:59:45,398 --> 00:59:48,646
to her. Like, he has two. He doesn't need another

997
00:59:48,718 --> 00:59:51,542
person. And she's like, we can only do this if we make it a little

998
00:59:51,566 --> 00:59:55,222
bit more private. And he's like, fucking worth it. Like, yeah, everybody get the

999
00:59:55,246 --> 00:59:59,286
fuck out of here. And he doesn't even recognize her. So I love that he's

1000
00:59:59,318 --> 01:00:02,838
already so attracted to her. Like, it's lovely.

1001
01:00:02,934 --> 01:00:07,376
Yeah. The next morning, to his dismay, he learns that Lennon

1002
01:00:07,408 --> 01:00:11,360
is not here to make nice. So he wakes up handcuffed to the bed,

1003
01:00:11,520 --> 01:00:14,192
realizes that it was Lennon the night before,

1004
01:00:14,376 --> 01:00:17,776
is honestly probably speechless because

1005
01:00:17,848 --> 01:00:21,792
she looks hot. And he's, like, thinking to

1006
01:00:21,816 --> 01:00:25,392
himself, like, he's fucking cute or something. And Lennon comes over and,

1007
01:00:25,416 --> 01:00:28,912
like, whispers in his ear and is like, I'm here to tear you down.

1008
01:00:29,016 --> 01:00:33,718
And the banter starts. They're like, little arguing.

1009
01:00:33,894 --> 01:00:37,190
But she leaves him handcuffed to the bed until their show that night. Yeah.

1010
01:00:37,270 --> 01:00:39,622
So I do love this part, and I have to say it because, you know,

1011
01:00:39,646 --> 01:00:43,702
I love a possessive man. Yeah. But she meets, like, Memphis and

1012
01:00:43,886 --> 01:00:47,542
catches up with Storm here. And Phoenix notices

1013
01:00:47,606 --> 01:00:51,110
Memphis blatantly checking her out, and he is irate.

1014
01:00:51,190 --> 01:00:55,282
Yeah. Just spiraling. Like, you have the audacity to check out my girl.

1015
01:00:55,406 --> 01:00:58,650
Yeah. And I love that. It really is great. Yeah.

1016
01:00:58,730 --> 01:01:01,706
That's what makes this book for me, I think, is all of this, like,

1017
01:01:01,858 --> 01:01:05,242
the way he just, like, pines after her and is yearning for

1018
01:01:05,266 --> 01:01:07,642
her. And that is for me.

1019
01:01:07,746 --> 01:01:09,630
Yeah. Yeah. Oh,

1020
01:01:10,130 --> 01:01:12,710
cute. I love that for you.

1021
01:01:15,730 --> 01:01:18,778
She has a private conversation with Storm where

1022
01:01:18,834 --> 01:01:22,170
she discloses to him all the things that are happening with her

1023
01:01:22,210 --> 01:01:25,548
dad and the fact that she was working at this gentleman's club.

1024
01:01:25,674 --> 01:01:29,176
So at their concert that night, Phoenix is unable to perform

1025
01:01:29,328 --> 01:01:33,240
the song that he stole from Lennon. So he usually. This is the band's

1026
01:01:33,320 --> 01:01:36,744
most popular song, and he normally ends the night with it.

1027
01:01:36,912 --> 01:01:40,536
And he can't sing it because the guilt

1028
01:01:40,568 --> 01:01:44,152
is there. He can't perform this song knowing that she

1029
01:01:44,176 --> 01:01:47,576
is eye fucking him from the shadows. And I love this power dynamic,

1030
01:01:47,608 --> 01:01:51,304
too, because he's like, this big, famous rock star, and she still holds

1031
01:01:51,352 --> 01:01:54,576
all of this power over him. And I'm obsessed with it.

1032
01:01:54,768 --> 01:01:57,888
Here is where Lennon strikes up a friendship with A new band member,

1033
01:01:57,944 --> 01:02:01,792
George, who is replacing Josh. It's just giving

1034
01:02:01,856 --> 01:02:05,520
also. It's giving me this love triangle that I also love.

1035
01:02:05,640 --> 01:02:09,408
Sure. This book has everything I love. It has the plus size

1036
01:02:09,504 --> 01:02:13,376
female main character. It has a sexy musician,

1037
01:02:13,488 --> 01:02:17,264
tattooed male character. There is

1038
01:02:17,352 --> 01:02:20,420
yearning, jealousy, possessiveness,

1039
01:02:20,760 --> 01:02:23,520
hot sex from me.

1040
01:02:24,460 --> 01:02:27,556
And then this little rivalry.

1041
01:02:27,668 --> 01:02:31,364
Yeah. Phoenix starts to attempt here

1042
01:02:31,452 --> 01:02:35,764
to get Lennon fired. So he starts by screaming

1043
01:02:35,812 --> 01:02:39,300
at Chandler to fire her, which Chandler is like, no can do,

1044
01:02:39,340 --> 01:02:43,204
buddy. And then he decides that he's going to sneak out of a

1045
01:02:43,212 --> 01:02:46,340
green room in Vegas and takes a

1046
01:02:46,380 --> 01:02:49,520
drunken swim in the Bellagio fountains, which.

1047
01:02:49,910 --> 01:02:54,462
There are so many things wrong with that because that fountain is fucking

1048
01:02:54,606 --> 01:02:58,110
filthy. It is so gross. You are so

1049
01:02:58,150 --> 01:03:01,806
lucky. You should get a tetanus shot. Honestly. He only agrees

1050
01:03:01,838 --> 01:03:05,262
to return to the hotel in exchange for a

1051
01:03:05,286 --> 01:03:08,990
kiss from Lennon. We learn later why

1052
01:03:09,030 --> 01:03:12,542
this is such a special thing that he

1053
01:03:12,566 --> 01:03:16,306
asks her for here, but right now it is.

1054
01:03:16,458 --> 01:03:19,122
I was just like, oh, my God, this fucking guy.

1055
01:03:19,266 --> 01:03:23,122
I know. And it just. And then later on we get some more context

1056
01:03:23,186 --> 01:03:27,122
and it honestly, it like, breaks my heart a little bit

1057
01:03:27,146 --> 01:03:30,270
that he was this fucked up and from her.

1058
01:03:30,570 --> 01:03:34,322
So the next morning, Storm shares that Lennon's been

1059
01:03:34,346 --> 01:03:37,650
working at a gentleman's club with Phoenix.

1060
01:03:37,810 --> 01:03:41,634
And Phoenix decides to go to bat for her when Chandler

1061
01:03:41,682 --> 01:03:45,226
tries to fire her for the stunt at

1062
01:03:45,298 --> 01:03:48,986
the Bellagio. And so she gets another chance

1063
01:03:49,018 --> 01:03:52,826
to fulfill her contract. They call a truce, but it's

1064
01:03:52,858 --> 01:03:56,474
clear that Phoenix wants more from Lennon, who is resistant

1065
01:03:56,522 --> 01:03:59,722
and angry. And she and George start

1066
01:03:59,746 --> 01:04:03,370
to get cozy, much to Phoenix chagrin.

1067
01:04:03,530 --> 01:04:07,210
And their truth is ruined when Phoenix discovers a

1068
01:04:07,250 --> 01:04:10,940
hidden phone recording their conversation as Lennon is trying to

1069
01:04:10,980 --> 01:04:14,204
seduce him into admitting that she stole her song.

1070
01:04:14,332 --> 01:04:17,932
Yeah. Something you would do. Yes, 100%. If I'm out for

1071
01:04:17,956 --> 01:04:21,228
revenge, I'm gonna figure out a way to get it.

1072
01:04:21,364 --> 01:04:25,004
Yeah, I. We talked a little. We had a little bit

1073
01:04:25,012 --> 01:04:28,492
of a revenge conversation the other day. Revenge is just not

1074
01:04:28,516 --> 01:04:32,236
for me. Just don't have the patience or the fortitude

1075
01:04:32,268 --> 01:04:35,932
for it. I. When I. I know you do need something.

1076
01:04:36,036 --> 01:04:38,754
No, I can have so much patience.

1077
01:04:38,882 --> 01:04:42,466
I. I can wait my whole fucking life. Oh, my God.

1078
01:04:42,578 --> 01:04:45,826
I'm never gonna. I'm never gonna piss you off. I know.

1079
01:04:45,898 --> 01:04:49,314
Oh, my God, that's terrifying. It needs to be bad, though. Sure.

1080
01:04:49,402 --> 01:04:51,550
Yeah. And I just think, like,

1081
01:04:52,170 --> 01:04:56,210
I am very tolerant once you've broken my tolerance.

1082
01:04:56,290 --> 01:04:59,922
It's basically like you don't even exist anymore. It's just. You just

1083
01:04:59,946 --> 01:05:03,314
are cut out, cut off. So I just don't have

1084
01:05:03,322 --> 01:05:06,692
the patience for it. Yeah, but it's good to know that you do.

1085
01:05:06,796 --> 01:05:09,940
I do. So if you ever. I know. That's what I was thinking. I know.

1086
01:05:09,980 --> 01:05:13,412
That's what I was thinking. I don't ever let. I basically know

1087
01:05:13,436 --> 01:05:16,532
it. Hit woman. Yeah. Phoenix and Lennon continue

1088
01:05:16,636 --> 01:05:20,260
their torture of one another one night while Phoenix brings

1089
01:05:20,340 --> 01:05:22,868
two girls back to his hotel room.

1090
01:05:23,004 --> 01:05:25,716
Lennon, in retaliation,

1091
01:05:25,908 --> 01:05:29,796
decides that she's going to bring George back to hers. And they're

1092
01:05:29,828 --> 01:05:32,580
supposed to be, like, watching a movie, but they don't. They sit up all night

1093
01:05:32,620 --> 01:05:36,080
gabbing like girlfriends and nothing happens.

1094
01:05:36,240 --> 01:05:39,968
But then she sends George home when

1095
01:05:40,024 --> 01:05:43,744
she starts hearing Phoenix on the other side

1096
01:05:43,832 --> 01:05:47,792
of her hotel room wall having sex with these women.

1097
01:05:47,976 --> 01:05:51,744
And so to make him jealous, she, like, slams her headboard

1098
01:05:51,792 --> 01:05:55,552
against the wall and starts making noises of her own. And then she

1099
01:05:55,576 --> 01:06:00,458
goes to bed thinking nothing of it. And she wakes up handcuffed

1100
01:06:00,474 --> 01:06:04,250
to her bed with one of the girls that

1101
01:06:04,290 --> 01:06:08,090
Phoenix brought home that night, eating her out while Phoenix

1102
01:06:08,170 --> 01:06:11,670
smokes a goddamn cigarette and watches from the corner. I know.

1103
01:06:12,210 --> 01:06:14,990
It is. It's sexy.

1104
01:06:17,730 --> 01:06:21,866
This is a really good scene. It is. Yeah. So seeing

1105
01:06:21,898 --> 01:06:25,610
an opportunity to kind of get to Phoenix,

1106
01:06:25,690 --> 01:06:29,304
Lennon decides to encourage the woman to continue.

1107
01:06:29,392 --> 01:06:32,584
So Lennon guys that she's gonna lean into this whole thing and, like,

1108
01:06:32,672 --> 01:06:36,540
enjoy herself in hopes of making Phoenix jealous.

1109
01:06:36,880 --> 01:06:40,200
And Phoenix is a fucking rock star, so he's not

1110
01:06:40,240 --> 01:06:43,656
feeling jealous. He's feeling like, fuck, yeah, this is hot.

1111
01:06:43,728 --> 01:06:47,900
He's so turned on. So he starts to stroke himself

1112
01:06:48,320 --> 01:06:51,816
just as Lennon is about to come. He instructs

1113
01:06:51,848 --> 01:06:55,110
the woman to stop. The woman does. And then she

1114
01:06:55,150 --> 01:06:58,582
comes over and sits and kneels in front of

1115
01:06:58,606 --> 01:07:02,390
him so that he can come on her face. Yep. And London's pissed because

1116
01:07:02,510 --> 01:07:05,558
she was so close. So, so close. And then rips it away.

1117
01:07:05,614 --> 01:07:08,758
He was so turned on this whole scene. Yeah, I was turned on.

1118
01:07:08,814 --> 01:07:12,310
Yeah. Just like, him touching himself. She says,

1119
01:07:12,350 --> 01:07:17,030
like, I don't even care that it's a woman making me come. And then Phoenix

1120
01:07:17,110 --> 01:07:20,800
comes over and he starts to kind of go

1121
01:07:20,840 --> 01:07:24,304
down on Lennon, but he is being very rough.

1122
01:07:24,432 --> 01:07:26,864
So he is, like, biting her and, like,

1123
01:07:27,032 --> 01:07:30,420
sucking aggressively in between her legs,

1124
01:07:30,760 --> 01:07:34,480
leaving a bunch of marks. She says. Branding her is how

1125
01:07:34,520 --> 01:07:38,112
she describes it. And then he leaves her there handcuffed to the bed.

1126
01:07:38,256 --> 01:07:40,976
Yep. Doesn't let her come. Nope. Gets her again.

1127
01:07:41,048 --> 01:07:45,020
Close. Yep. And then leaves her. Yep. And I don't like that.

1128
01:07:46,350 --> 01:07:49,622
I don't like that. If you're going to edge me, that's fine. But I want

1129
01:07:49,646 --> 01:07:53,398
to come eventually. I know the lines between

1130
01:07:53,454 --> 01:07:57,670
Lennon and Phoenix start to blur here, because while

1131
01:07:57,790 --> 01:08:01,702
sleeping one night, Lennon hears Phoenix

1132
01:08:01,846 --> 01:08:04,530
having a bad dream from her room.

1133
01:08:04,910 --> 01:08:08,210
And she goes over to

1134
01:08:08,750 --> 01:08:12,326
thinking that he's having sex. So she's trying to control him

1135
01:08:12,478 --> 01:08:16,294
and realizes what's happening, and she comforts

1136
01:08:16,342 --> 01:08:20,102
him. I wasn't going to put this in here,

1137
01:08:20,286 --> 01:08:23,130
but I did because we just talked about this. Yeah.

1138
01:08:23,470 --> 01:08:26,930
So in between this and the next thing that we talk about,

1139
01:08:28,270 --> 01:08:31,862
George and Lennon have a little moment. This.

1140
01:08:31,966 --> 01:08:34,726
You had to talk about this. It's so necessary.

1141
01:08:34,918 --> 01:08:38,130
George asks Lennon if he can kiss her.

1142
01:08:38,520 --> 01:08:40,900
And the whole. It's.

1143
01:08:41,960 --> 01:08:44,940
It's so Nicole's face.

1144
01:08:47,480 --> 01:08:50,672
I hate it. She can't even deal with

1145
01:08:50,696 --> 01:08:54,208
it. No, I. George, in any case, he's not described as

1146
01:08:54,264 --> 01:08:57,600
being super attractive, and Lennon is just being nice and

1147
01:08:57,640 --> 01:09:01,328
trying to just placate him. She's basically trying to make Phoenix jealous

1148
01:09:01,424 --> 01:09:05,408
or maybe try to get over Phoenix. We don't really know. She does keep,

1149
01:09:05,464 --> 01:09:09,302
like, saying to herself, like, he's safe. He's a guy and

1150
01:09:09,326 --> 01:09:12,022
he's safe. He's a good guy and he's safe. She's like, repeating this mantra to

1151
01:09:12,046 --> 01:09:15,142
herself. But then it turns out exactly how you'd expect. Like,

1152
01:09:15,166 --> 01:09:17,862
he asked to kiss her, and she's like, oh, my God, fine. This is the

1153
01:09:17,886 --> 01:09:21,222
second time now that he's, like, tried to kiss her. Yeah. And then they go

1154
01:09:21,246 --> 01:09:24,310
into kiss and bump heads. Yeah. And don't kiss.

1155
01:09:24,390 --> 01:09:29,334
So awkward. Yeah, it is. And it's just immediately,

1156
01:09:29,382 --> 01:09:32,390
like, turned off. But the thing is,

1157
01:09:32,430 --> 01:09:35,972
is, like, Damian Martinez would never have fumbled this

1158
01:09:35,996 --> 01:09:39,140
kiss. The way he fumbled it. So if

1159
01:09:39,180 --> 01:09:42,880
Phoenix would have ever asked Lennon to kiss her, I'm out. Sure.

1160
01:09:43,260 --> 01:09:47,120
Out of all the Dave's niceness, he would still never ask to kiss me.

1161
01:09:47,580 --> 01:09:50,884
I could never imagine Dave asking. I could imagine

1162
01:09:50,932 --> 01:09:54,388
Phoenix asking. No. Okay. Well,

1163
01:09:54,524 --> 01:09:57,572
he literally basically just had her assaulted in

1164
01:09:57,596 --> 01:09:59,760
her sleep. And you think he would ask?

1165
01:10:00,620 --> 01:10:04,564
Yeah, because I think that he has

1166
01:10:04,652 --> 01:10:08,468
such a specific, I suppose, with the king about

1167
01:10:08,524 --> 01:10:12,308
kissing that I do feel like I could see him doing something

1168
01:10:12,364 --> 01:10:15,508
like that. I think you and I don't see Phoenix the same way.

1169
01:10:15,564 --> 01:10:18,900
No, No. I see Phoenix for the broken person that he is.

1170
01:10:18,940 --> 01:10:21,840
And I think you see him as a God, just like Lennon did.

1171
01:10:22,220 --> 01:10:25,652
So. Yeah. I'm fully immersed in this book. Yeah. No, I love that

1172
01:10:25,676 --> 01:10:29,920
for you. Yeah. Yeah. The next day, Phoenix is still

1173
01:10:30,040 --> 01:10:34,592
mad and jealous because he knows what happened between Lennon

1174
01:10:34,656 --> 01:10:38,224
and George, and he just is looking

1175
01:10:38,312 --> 01:10:41,552
to vent some of his negative feelings. And he Makes

1176
01:10:41,576 --> 01:10:45,220
a dig at Lennon about being cut off from Daddy.

1177
01:10:45,640 --> 01:10:49,216
And she calls George for comfort

1178
01:10:49,408 --> 01:10:53,024
after being comforted by Storm. And this is where Phoenix knows

1179
01:10:53,072 --> 01:10:56,064
that he is fucking it up. Yeah. He can tell. He's like,

1180
01:10:56,152 --> 01:10:59,536
Storm is comforting her. What's going on? And Storm literally says,

1181
01:10:59,608 --> 01:11:03,200
you're such an asshole to him. And he doesn't know. And Storm says,

1182
01:11:03,240 --> 01:11:06,720
it's not my story to tell. And the fact that she called George, which is,

1183
01:11:06,760 --> 01:11:10,592
again, something that I totally would do, just because I think in that moment,

1184
01:11:10,656 --> 01:11:13,520
Lennon also knows that that is a way that she can hurt Phoenix.

1185
01:11:13,600 --> 01:11:16,416
Sure. I think that she really does want.

1186
01:11:16,568 --> 01:11:19,920
She is really looking for comfort from George, though. I mean, I think that

1187
01:11:19,960 --> 01:11:23,878
she is, like, rightfully so.

1188
01:11:24,014 --> 01:11:27,382
Feeling very lonely, very discombobulated.

1189
01:11:27,446 --> 01:11:30,614
And she wants some sort of security. And I think George for her is a

1190
01:11:30,622 --> 01:11:33,926
little bit of a security blanket. Yeah. Even if she isn't overly fond

1191
01:11:33,958 --> 01:11:37,654
of him. Yeah. So Phoenix invites Sabrina to

1192
01:11:37,822 --> 01:11:41,222
one of their concerts. I think he is, in this moment, trying to

1193
01:11:41,246 --> 01:11:44,934
make up for. Yeah. Making her sad. And he has no idea how

1194
01:11:44,942 --> 01:11:47,382
to do it. Yeah. And he doesn't know. He still doesn't know what he did

1195
01:11:47,406 --> 01:11:50,546
wrong. Yeah. He just knows that he's fucking it up. So in that moment,

1196
01:11:50,578 --> 01:11:53,362
too, I forgot. He thinks, like, we always, like, give it to each other like

1197
01:11:53,386 --> 01:11:56,310
this. Like, what did I do? Yeah. Yep.

1198
01:11:56,650 --> 01:12:00,098
Yeah. He's confused. Poor guy. Yeah.

1199
01:12:00,274 --> 01:12:02,670
So then Sabrina shows up.

1200
01:12:03,130 --> 01:12:06,194
Lennon catches them in a room together,

1201
01:12:06,282 --> 01:12:10,510
basically reliving what happened when she was in high school.

1202
01:12:10,890 --> 01:12:14,530
And she starts to regress on her eating disorder.

1203
01:12:14,610 --> 01:12:17,818
She locks herself in the room, she starts binge eating.

1204
01:12:17,914 --> 01:12:22,426
She starts drawing on herself again. And Phoenix

1205
01:12:22,618 --> 01:12:26,250
comes into the room and basically kind of

1206
01:12:26,290 --> 01:12:29,150
walks her off the ledge because she's sort of spiraling.

1207
01:12:29,730 --> 01:12:33,870
At the concert the next night, Phoenix brings Sabrina up on stage

1208
01:12:34,210 --> 01:12:37,498
and he's kind of like introducing her

1209
01:12:37,554 --> 01:12:41,306
to the crowd. Yeah. And she thinks that she is.

1210
01:12:41,458 --> 01:12:44,622
Yeah. He's like, you all know that this girl, so popular in

1211
01:12:44,646 --> 01:12:47,870
high school, everybody was jealous of her. She's so beautiful.

1212
01:12:47,950 --> 01:12:51,726
Yeah. And she's, like, primping like she's feeling so

1213
01:12:51,798 --> 01:12:55,470
good about herself. And he has made sure that Lennon

1214
01:12:55,550 --> 01:12:58,494
is front row and center for this.

1215
01:12:58,662 --> 01:13:02,366
And then he does the exact same thing

1216
01:13:02,518 --> 01:13:06,478
to Sabrina. He pulls a rope, pig slop falls

1217
01:13:06,494 --> 01:13:10,186
from the ceiling. Very Carrie esque. Yeah. And then he

1218
01:13:10,358 --> 01:13:14,082
points the microphone at the audience and says, what do

1219
01:13:14,106 --> 01:13:16,898
pigs say? And the entire audience oinks.

1220
01:13:16,994 --> 01:13:20,722
Yeah. We're talking thousands. These are packed stadiums that

1221
01:13:20,746 --> 01:13:24,510
this guy does. I never

1222
01:13:25,130 --> 01:13:28,990
I don't hate anybody enough. I agree.

1223
01:13:29,770 --> 01:13:33,410
And even Lennon, like, she didn't see this as any

1224
01:13:33,450 --> 01:13:36,770
type of, like, retribution or anything. She didn't feel

1225
01:13:36,810 --> 01:13:39,850
like this made it better. Mm. It was bad.

1226
01:13:39,970 --> 01:13:43,962
Yeah. It was not my version.

1227
01:13:44,106 --> 01:13:47,178
It's so interesting, too, because some of these books, I'll be like, yes, he's gonna

1228
01:13:47,194 --> 01:13:51,194
kill for me, but don't embarrass me. Don't embarrass

1229
01:13:51,242 --> 01:13:54,778
somebody terribly and make the audience oink at them. I don't.

1230
01:13:54,874 --> 01:13:57,830
Yeah, It's. This is a.

1231
01:13:58,130 --> 01:14:00,430
This is a polarizing genre. Okay.

1232
01:14:02,450 --> 01:14:05,818
So we are kind of living through the tour,

1233
01:14:05,954 --> 01:14:09,474
and Phoenix and Lennon have some phone

1234
01:14:09,522 --> 01:14:13,426
sex. I didn't really know the best

1235
01:14:13,498 --> 01:14:17,730
way to describe this scene. Phoenix basically

1236
01:14:17,810 --> 01:14:21,602
asks her, like, what are you wearing? And she's like,

1237
01:14:21,626 --> 01:14:24,754
pajamas. And he's like, so my old T shirt that

1238
01:14:24,762 --> 01:14:28,290
I gave you in high school. He knows if she sleeps in it every

1239
01:14:28,330 --> 01:14:32,274
night. And then he basically just starts telling

1240
01:14:32,322 --> 01:14:36,270
her via text message all of the things that he's gonna do to her,

1241
01:14:36,580 --> 01:14:40,348
which is very, very sexy. Yes. And just

1242
01:14:40,404 --> 01:14:43,400
as it's starting to get, like, really good,

1243
01:14:44,260 --> 01:14:47,276
FaceTimes her. Yeah. Which she answers. Yeah.

1244
01:14:47,308 --> 01:14:50,380
She, like. She answers in a panic. Yeah. She's in

1245
01:14:50,420 --> 01:14:53,932
a shared bunk room. There are three other people sleeping.

1246
01:14:54,076 --> 01:14:57,116
She does have her headphones in. You got her headphones on. But she,

1247
01:14:57,188 --> 01:15:00,508
like, opens up her FaceTime, and it's his dick.

1248
01:15:00,684 --> 01:15:04,710
Yeah. And he's stroking himself, and she

1249
01:15:04,750 --> 01:15:08,822
starts to finger herself. And then this is my favorite part, because he comes

1250
01:15:08,926 --> 01:15:12,614
while saying her name. Yeah. Which. Cause he continues to dirty talk.

1251
01:15:12,702 --> 01:15:16,050
Yep. And you realize, too, like, she realizes that

1252
01:15:16,510 --> 01:15:19,766
he. He's probably saying these things

1253
01:15:19,918 --> 01:15:23,302
because, like, when they talk to text. Yeah. Because he

1254
01:15:23,326 --> 01:15:26,854
can't. Yeah. Because of his. Yeah. Which is so hot.

1255
01:15:26,942 --> 01:15:30,700
Yeah. Oh, my God. I just. I love a good phone sex

1256
01:15:30,790 --> 01:15:34,480
scene. I know you do. I. It was a very sexy scene.

1257
01:15:34,560 --> 01:15:38,432
I think it was not my favorite scene. Sure. Do you

1258
01:15:38,456 --> 01:15:41,472
have. Have we already. No. Okay. Oh, no.

1259
01:15:41,496 --> 01:15:45,472
I'll say it when we get there. Okay. Phoenix dad

1260
01:15:45,616 --> 01:15:49,380
makes a visit. Yeah. He is drunk.

1261
01:15:49,720 --> 01:15:53,216
He is asking for money. And because Phoenix

1262
01:15:53,248 --> 01:15:56,740
and Lennon have sort of this, like, tit for tat type of relationship,

1263
01:15:57,440 --> 01:16:00,952
she decides to tell Phoenix about her dad. She doesn't tell him a

1264
01:16:00,976 --> 01:16:04,472
lot. She just tells him sort of the basics of

1265
01:16:04,496 --> 01:16:08,744
it. And he's kind of starting to comfort

1266
01:16:08,792 --> 01:16:12,712
her. You can tell that he is feeling, like, devastated. He realizes

1267
01:16:12,856 --> 01:16:16,280
kind of how he fucked up in the past. And she

1268
01:16:16,320 --> 01:16:19,688
sets a really strong boundary when he tries

1269
01:16:19,704 --> 01:16:23,268
to comfort her. They're on their way to the venue. She hops

1270
01:16:23,284 --> 01:16:26,720
out of the limo and is like, this can go no further.

1271
01:16:27,260 --> 01:16:31,880
George now is starting to declare his feelings for Lennon.

1272
01:16:32,540 --> 01:16:35,236
While he's fumbling through his feelings for Lennon,

1273
01:16:35,348 --> 01:16:38,756
Phoenix gets jealous. Yeah. We get to see him,

1274
01:16:38,828 --> 01:16:42,276
like, inner spiraling. And I love it.

1275
01:16:42,428 --> 01:16:45,364
Nicole's face is like pure joy. Oh, my God.

1276
01:16:45,412 --> 01:16:49,226
That is for me. This. This is. Yeah.

1277
01:16:49,258 --> 01:16:53,322
This is my favorite scene, I think. Yeah. He takes her to

1278
01:16:53,426 --> 01:16:56,698
the tour buster. He manhandles her out of there. Yep.

1279
01:16:56,794 --> 01:17:00,218
And brings her into the tour bus kitchen. It's. The bus is empty because they're

1280
01:17:00,314 --> 01:17:03,802
supposed to be practicing or setting up for their concert that

1281
01:17:03,826 --> 01:17:07,722
night. He bends her over the table and I really love

1282
01:17:07,746 --> 01:17:10,922
that she's wearing a skirt. Yeah. Because when he grabs her by her neck and

1283
01:17:10,946 --> 01:17:14,010
bends her over. Yeah. And then he flips her skirt up,

1284
01:17:14,050 --> 01:17:17,418
which I don't know why, but something about that is so sexy.

1285
01:17:17,514 --> 01:17:20,874
Yeah. And then he says the magic words, which makes me think

1286
01:17:20,882 --> 01:17:23,830
that this book is probably pretty old.

1287
01:17:24,130 --> 01:17:27,242
He tells her that she's going to take his dick like

1288
01:17:27,266 --> 01:17:30,394
a good girl. So I know that this is not the

1289
01:17:30,402 --> 01:17:33,738
origin of that saying, but it's been a really

1290
01:17:33,794 --> 01:17:37,162
long time since I've read that saying. Yeah. I don't think in

1291
01:17:37,186 --> 01:17:40,860
the newer books we've moved past that onto other things.

1292
01:17:41,050 --> 01:17:44,760
He fucks her from behind and has her rub her

1293
01:17:44,800 --> 01:17:48,632
clit and then replaces her hand with his hand,

1294
01:17:48,736 --> 01:17:52,168
making her come. And then he turns her around and fucks

1295
01:17:52,184 --> 01:17:55,928
her seated on the table until he comes and she

1296
01:17:55,984 --> 01:17:59,352
says it was a one time thing. And he calls her a liar.

1297
01:17:59,496 --> 01:18:03,300
Yeah. That scene, it's so hot.

1298
01:18:04,640 --> 01:18:08,752
I think it is just because he cannot contain himself anymore.

1299
01:18:08,896 --> 01:18:12,800
She has pushed him to the breaking point. And it's so hot. Yeah. I did

1300
01:18:12,840 --> 01:18:15,776
like the scene a lot. It's not my favorite scene. Do you have a favorite

1301
01:18:15,808 --> 01:18:19,216
scene? I do. Okay. They go out for

1302
01:18:19,368 --> 01:18:23,328
George's birthday. And at this point, George doesn't know

1303
01:18:23,464 --> 01:18:27,216
what's going. Everybody is suspicious about what's happening between Lennon

1304
01:18:27,248 --> 01:18:31,100
and Phoenix, but nobody really knows. They go to a club.

1305
01:18:31,400 --> 01:18:36,394
And I have another problem here, because Skyler,

1306
01:18:36,522 --> 01:18:40,522
their PR person, she and Skyler are sort of slowly becoming

1307
01:18:40,586 --> 01:18:43,190
friends, forced. Friends, because they're the only two women.

1308
01:18:43,730 --> 01:18:47,050
Lennon says, I don't have anything to wear. And Skyler's like, girl, I got

1309
01:18:47,090 --> 01:18:50,746
you. And Lennon is like, ma'am,

1310
01:18:50,858 --> 01:18:54,634
you're like a size 2. Nothing you would wear, nothing you own would ever fix

1311
01:18:54,682 --> 01:18:58,634
me. And Skyler's like, girl, I love my biscuits. I'm a size

1312
01:18:58,682 --> 01:19:02,046
four. Five. Like, that's like, something impressive. Yeah.

1313
01:19:02,078 --> 01:19:05,838
And then she's like, here, put on this dress. Because apparently she's

1314
01:19:05,854 --> 01:19:09,214
got some Spanx, and it's a spandex dress, and she's gonna fit it. Let me

1315
01:19:09,222 --> 01:19:12,622
tell you something. As a size 10, 12, 12, usually,

1316
01:19:12,766 --> 01:19:16,158
I promise you. I promise you that size 5 dress does not fit.

1317
01:19:16,174 --> 01:19:19,374
I don't care if it is a fucking. I don't care if it's made of

1318
01:19:19,382 --> 01:19:22,382
the same materials. A fucking trash bag. That fudgeing dress does not fit.

1319
01:19:22,446 --> 01:19:25,742
Yeah. It just does not fucking fit. I did not like that. I didn't.

1320
01:19:25,806 --> 01:19:28,910
I didn't fucking like that. No. I don't know. I don't like any of their

1321
01:19:28,950 --> 01:19:31,694
friendship. I don't either. I don't even know why they bothered to put that in

1322
01:19:31,702 --> 01:19:35,678
there. Yeah. Lennon gets to the club. She's hanging

1323
01:19:35,694 --> 01:19:39,150
out with George. George is once again proclaiming his feelings for her. He's getting

1324
01:19:39,190 --> 01:19:42,302
drunk and handsy and just gross. Yes.

1325
01:19:42,446 --> 01:19:46,718
Phoenix is jealous. He storms off.

1326
01:19:46,854 --> 01:19:50,094
Lennon is like, it's my job to follow him. Because George is like,

1327
01:19:50,102 --> 01:19:53,662
you don't have to follow him. And she's like, I'm literally always working.

1328
01:19:53,766 --> 01:19:56,478
Right. And George calls her his birthday present.

1329
01:19:56,614 --> 01:19:59,658
Oh, yes. And I. Ugh. Yeah.

1330
01:19:59,754 --> 01:20:01,670
Not for me. No.

1331
01:20:02,850 --> 01:20:07,194
So she goes after Phoenix, and Phoenix

1332
01:20:07,242 --> 01:20:10,682
kind of comes up behind her in, like,

1333
01:20:10,706 --> 01:20:12,390
a VIP section up.

1334
01:20:13,170 --> 01:20:16,554
And she doesn't initially know that it's him.

1335
01:20:16,642 --> 01:20:20,506
And then he kind of starts, like, whispering in her ear. And they're

1336
01:20:20,618 --> 01:20:23,834
up on a balcony overlooking the club,

1337
01:20:23,922 --> 01:20:27,590
and the balcony is blocking their bottom halves. Yeah. So it

1338
01:20:27,630 --> 01:20:31,130
looks like they're just kind of dancing and, like, talking closely.

1339
01:20:31,470 --> 01:20:34,130
But they're not. No.

1340
01:20:35,070 --> 01:20:38,294
This scene, again, is so hot. This would be tied for

1341
01:20:38,382 --> 01:20:42,086
my, like, number one scene because I also. He slams

1342
01:20:42,118 --> 01:20:44,934
her up against the wall, and it's just aggressively,

1343
01:20:45,062 --> 01:20:48,502
like, making out with her. Yeah. This is my. This is

1344
01:20:48,526 --> 01:20:52,182
my second favorite scene. Like, Nicole says, he has her grab the

1345
01:20:52,206 --> 01:20:55,948
railing and then he fucks her bear.

1346
01:20:56,124 --> 01:20:59,964
So no condom the whole time, whispering dirty

1347
01:21:00,012 --> 01:21:03,628
little nothings in her ear. And the dirty little nothings are things

1348
01:21:03,684 --> 01:21:07,360
like, do you think he's watching? Do you think that he knows

1349
01:21:07,860 --> 01:21:11,452
it's so hot. Oh, fucking sexy.

1350
01:21:11,596 --> 01:21:15,036
The first time that they had sex in the. The bus.

1351
01:21:15,108 --> 01:21:18,386
In the bus, he came on her shirt,

1352
01:21:18,548 --> 01:21:22,038
and she is wearing a borrowed dress here. That's why.

1353
01:21:22,094 --> 01:21:25,366
That's why. That's why now it's all coming together. She's wearing a Borrowed dress.

1354
01:21:25,398 --> 01:21:28,326
Here. I get it now. I still don't like the scene.

1355
01:21:28,518 --> 01:21:32,198
But she says he's about to pull out

1356
01:21:32,254 --> 01:21:35,574
and come. And she's like, come inside? Yeah.

1357
01:21:35,702 --> 01:21:39,014
And he does. And just as he's coming inside of her,

1358
01:21:39,102 --> 01:21:42,102
he makes eye contact with George, who's sitting below.

1359
01:21:42,206 --> 01:21:45,862
Watch the whole thing. He saw it all. Yes. And you can

1360
01:21:45,886 --> 01:21:49,734
tell, I'm sure, towards the end, you can probably tell

1361
01:21:49,902 --> 01:21:53,702
that they are not dancing. Oh, that's an orgasm. Yes.

1362
01:21:53,766 --> 01:21:56,678
She. He says that her eyes are, like, rolling in the back of her head.

1363
01:21:56,734 --> 01:22:00,022
Her head is, like, lolling on her neck,

1364
01:22:00,086 --> 01:22:03,446
like she's enjoying herself and I'm

1365
01:22:03,478 --> 01:22:06,998
enjoying myself. We were all enjoying ourselves. Poor George. I don't

1366
01:22:07,014 --> 01:22:11,254
think anybody deserves to find out that way. But, I mean, honestly, take a fucking

1367
01:22:11,302 --> 01:22:14,912
hint. On the way back to the bus, Lennon is

1368
01:22:14,936 --> 01:22:18,560
trying because it's George's birthday, and Lennon has a

1369
01:22:18,600 --> 01:22:22,192
conscience. Yeah. She feels bad. Yeah. So she's feeling bad,

1370
01:22:22,296 --> 01:22:25,088
so she tries to, like, apologize to George.

1371
01:22:25,264 --> 01:22:28,752
And George is, like, rightfully so, being a

1372
01:22:28,776 --> 01:22:31,500
dick about it. And Phoenix picks a fight with him.

1373
01:22:31,800 --> 01:22:36,144
And Lennon is like, what are you doing? And Phoenix

1374
01:22:36,192 --> 01:22:39,594
says to Lennon, I'm pursuing this. This is the part

1375
01:22:39,682 --> 01:22:42,858
when Georgia, Phoenix are fighting. George is like, lennon was mine.

1376
01:22:43,034 --> 01:22:46,522
You took her. And Phoenix says, she was never yours

1377
01:22:46,666 --> 01:22:49,898
because you begged her to kiss you. And she begged me to fuck her.

1378
01:22:50,034 --> 01:22:53,642
Mm. That is a good quote. Oh, you have a quote? I have

1379
01:22:53,666 --> 01:22:57,370
a quote. It is in quotation marks. Oh, wow. I. How's that

1380
01:22:57,410 --> 01:23:00,590
feel to get your first quote in there, huh? So proud of myself,

1381
01:23:01,250 --> 01:23:04,470
but that type of, like, aggressive, man. Yeah.

1382
01:23:04,650 --> 01:23:08,222
Yeah. And then I loved the callback. Everything is fine.

1383
01:23:08,366 --> 01:23:11,774
I also loved the callback, too. I'm pursuing this. Yeah,

1384
01:23:11,822 --> 01:23:15,850
absolutely. All right. And that is the end of part one.

1385
01:23:16,230 --> 01:23:18,250
Where are you at with everything right now?

1386
01:23:19,590 --> 01:23:22,730
I'm. I.

1387
01:23:23,430 --> 01:23:26,686
I get. I still gather inspiration from this book. Oh,

1388
01:23:26,718 --> 01:23:29,806
my. Those two scenes are super hot. I think I might know what your favorite

1389
01:23:29,838 --> 01:23:33,240
scene is. Oh, really? Yeah. I actually would

1390
01:23:33,280 --> 01:23:36,424
like to hear your prediction. What do you think it is? I think it's the

1391
01:23:36,432 --> 01:23:39,700
one in the back of the bus. Later. Oh, no, no.

1392
01:23:40,000 --> 01:23:43,416
Okay. Nope. Interesting. I can't

1393
01:23:43,448 --> 01:23:46,552
wait. You're gonna learn so many fun things about me.

1394
01:23:46,736 --> 01:23:50,180
Phoenix, in this. In part one is so

1395
01:23:50,480 --> 01:23:53,736
hot. Yeah. I had a thing I

1396
01:23:53,808 --> 01:23:58,676
like in high school. Just after high school, my friend would go to bands and

1397
01:23:58,748 --> 01:24:01,080
that. I was always for the singer.

1398
01:24:01,660 --> 01:24:04,836
I don't think I've ever hooked up with a musician. I have.

1399
01:24:04,908 --> 01:24:08,148
I've hooked up With a couple. Oh, I'm so disappointed. You never got to hook

1400
01:24:08,164 --> 01:24:11,716
up with a musician. I think honestly, that was very strategic

1401
01:24:11,748 --> 01:24:15,236
because every single musician that I've ever met has been incredibly

1402
01:24:15,268 --> 01:24:19,284
full of themselves. And it's just not my thing. I just don't like.

1403
01:24:19,452 --> 01:24:22,740
Sure. I don't like people who take

1404
01:24:22,780 --> 01:24:26,344
themselves so fucking seriously. It's just not my thing. So did

1405
01:24:26,352 --> 01:24:30,552
you ever have like. Like the parody in the Barbie movie,

1406
01:24:30,696 --> 01:24:34,260
the guy who plays his guitar and sings just directly at you?

1407
01:24:35,200 --> 01:24:38,056
So there actually. There was technically two. Yep.

1408
01:24:38,168 --> 01:24:41,304
So the first guy was probably when I

1409
01:24:41,312 --> 01:24:44,456
was like 13. This was like

1410
01:24:44,528 --> 01:24:47,060
pre cell phones. Pre.

1411
01:24:47,360 --> 01:24:50,792
So we. Email was still kind of new. We still had to

1412
01:24:50,816 --> 01:24:52,900
use the AOL disc.

1413
01:24:53,770 --> 01:24:56,962
And I worked with him. He was a little older than me. Of course he

1414
01:24:56,986 --> 01:25:00,226
was. And he emailed me like a sound bite.

1415
01:25:00,258 --> 01:25:03,762
I don't even know how he did it. I remember being more impressed with

1416
01:25:03,786 --> 01:25:06,946
the fact that he could email me something like that. But it's him

1417
01:25:07,018 --> 01:25:11,190
singing Amanda by Boston. Oh, my God.

1418
01:25:13,370 --> 01:25:17,058
I was so not into that guy. When I tell you I was so

1419
01:25:17,194 --> 01:25:20,670
not into that guy. He was. He was a George.

1420
01:25:21,570 --> 01:25:25,082
George all day. It was just. Was not for me. It's my first was

1421
01:25:25,106 --> 01:25:28,442
in high school and this guy was in a band and like, so he

1422
01:25:28,466 --> 01:25:31,050
had his own. He wrote his own music and stuff. And we rode the same

1423
01:25:31,090 --> 01:25:34,010
bus and sitting on the bus and he's like playing his guitar.

1424
01:25:34,090 --> 01:25:37,990
No, just stare at My sisters are like. He was staring at you.

1425
01:25:39,490 --> 01:25:42,906
I know. What am I supposed to do though? He's playing guitar,

1426
01:25:42,938 --> 01:25:46,846
so I'm going to watch. Right. He's just like singing to me.

1427
01:25:46,918 --> 01:25:50,286
Oh, my God. So awkward. You know who didn't

1428
01:25:50,318 --> 01:25:54,078
make it awkward was David's boyfriend in Schitt's

1429
01:25:54,094 --> 01:25:57,534
Creek. When he said oh, oh, no, that was.

1430
01:25:57,622 --> 01:26:00,958
I fully expected. When he started singing, I expected that entire scene

1431
01:26:00,974 --> 01:26:04,254
to be so awkward. Just like David. David is waiting for it to be cringy

1432
01:26:04,302 --> 01:26:07,678
and he's like, dear God, I'm so awkward. And then it was.

1433
01:26:07,814 --> 01:26:10,810
He. He can sing to me. Yes. It was so.

1434
01:26:11,310 --> 01:26:14,614
Yes. Oh, my God. So great. Well, that was fun.

1435
01:26:14,702 --> 01:26:17,878
That was a lot of fun. Join us next week for part

1436
01:26:17,934 --> 01:26:21,254
two. This is a long episode. Next week's episode will probably

1437
01:26:21,302 --> 01:26:25,430
be long as well. We hope that you enjoy it just.

1438
01:26:25,470 --> 01:26:28,934
As much as we did. Yeah. Follow us on social media. We are on Instagram

1439
01:26:28,982 --> 01:26:33,174
and TikTok at booksletspod and online@booksletspodcast.com

1440
01:26:33,342 --> 01:26:36,010
and we will see you next week. Bye.